Confusion
by Andie T
Summary: Chapter 18 is up! FINALLY!!!!!!! Dom and Letty hit a crossroad. True feelings revealed. I suck at summaries...........just read it.
1. The beginning of the end

**Disclaimer**: I do not own any of the characters from the motion picture The Fast and the Furious blah, blah, blah.............you've been warned. Please review!

*This is not really a songfic, but it was sorta inspired by Ashanti's "Foolish"

~Oh, I trusted you....I trusted you.

So sad, so sad......What love will make you do.~

_Damn I'm tired. I just wanna take a shower and go to sleep. I know Dom has other plans but I couldn't give a shit. Imp so fucking tired, _Letty lets her mind wander. She walks into the front door of the Torreto house. All lights are off, as usual. She stays over at Dom and Mia's often. Since she moved to the neighborhood at 8, Mia and she were inseparable. Mia was the epitome of what a 6 year old little girl should be, and Letty was the exact opposite. Barbies and Easy-Bake ovens for Mia, Hot Wheels and baseball cards for Letty. She looks over at the pictures on the wall. She could hear Mia's high pitched voice asking countless times,"Who are the Yankees?". A tired half-smile creeps across her face. She walks through the front hallway into the living room and sets her keys on the end table. _Maybe he's sleep. Yeah, right ............ I'm sure he didn't hear me pulling up with my damn system on 18. What the hell was I thinking_? 

She takes off her jacket and lays it across the back of the couch. After taking off her boots she starts to head up the stairs. They're aren't any lights on. She's surprised. _Wow. Maybe he actually is sleep. _She continues past Mia's room to Dom's, but she hears faint sounds coming from the room at the end of the hall. Nobody went into that room. No matter how out of control the parties at that house got or how many people they had sleeping over for the night, it was common knowledge that no one........no one went into that room at the end of the hall. It was Mr. and Mrs. Toretto's old bedroom. Dom wouldn't even let Mia go in there. She tried one time and Dom damn near killed her. He didn't actually physically hurt her. He would never lay a hand on her, but he did yell, scream, and throw some things. That was the first time Mia ever slept over at Letty's. They don't talk about that night. Sometimes when Letty and Dom would fight, she could see the light on in the room and know he was in there calming down. _We didn't fuss today........why would he be in there?  _She walks into Dom's room. It's dark and empty. The bed is made. _He never makes his bed. _She turns back and slowly walks towards the room at the end of the hall. As she gets closer the sounds she hears become more and more audible. At that moment her worst fear is recognized. _ Oh my God.........not again. Please God, don't let it be him._

She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and tries to ready herself for what she already knows is going on. She slowly pushes the door open and steps in.  Her fear is realized.  It's him and some blonde "Race Queen" riding him. 

Letty strangles out a weak, "Dom?"

At first they don't even notice her. After the initial shock, her anger mixed with pure pain kick in and she goes from hurt to irate in a matter of seconds. 

"Dom?............Dom!?"  Dom looks over to see the love of his life standing beside his parent's bed clinching her fist and grinding her teeth.

"Letty?", he asks as if he doesn't believe it's her, his voice low and almost a whisper.

Letty proceeds to let her anger and utter disgust show by grabbing the blonde's hair, dragging her off Dom and out of the room. She slams the door on the girl and looks at her boyfriend who is slowly trying to explain and dress himself, still in disbelief of the situation.

"Letty........baby I know what this looks like, but.........."

She calmly interrupts him, "Shut up."

"But, Letty let me explain.........I........"

Now enraged, she interrupts again, "Shut the fuck up!!" He sits at the edge of the bed in front of Letty, with everything now sinking in.  

"I get the first word this time Dom. So you just sit and listen."   At this moment the blonde walks back in the room.

Dom and Letty yell in unison, "Get Out!"

"But I need my clothes!"  Letty picks up the clothes on the chair and throws them at the naked girl. 

"Don't ever come back here again you fucking whore." The girl rolls her eyes at Letty's remark, and is surprised that the Latin girl, who was obviously Dom's girlfriend, wasn't yelling at her but speaking very calmly and in a low, deliberate tone. Letty was beyond hurt this time....................... because he couldn't deny it. She had caught him in the act. If she had not seen them, he could have just lied to her, like he did a countless number of times before, and she would just believe him, not because she was naive, but because she knew the truth and didn't want to face it.

She closed the door again, stood in front of Dom, who is now half dressed in his boxer-briefs, and began to speak.

"Why Dom? What the fuck is so wrong with me that.....that you had to...........I mean every time I've even thought you were cheating on me........all I've ever wanted to know is why", she tells him, still speaking calmly, not moving, not taking her eyes off of his. They both know that this has been coming for a long time. Everything she's been holding in. All the thing she's wanted to say but her pride wouldn't let her. Now was the time to set things straight. 

"I always tried to think that maybe you were just angry with me and wanted to get me back for pissing you off, or that......your just being a man and you cant keep you dick in your pants......but now.............I realize that I'm just not enough for you." 

_Letty you are_ _ enough_, Dom thinks to himself as he sits and listens to her, the woman he's loved for the past five years, pour out feelings he never knew were there.

"It's always been about you Dom.............what you want.........I had to wait for you to love me back..........even then I wasn't enough for you...............you never wanted me did you?"

"Letty don't say that", he finally responds, not able to hold back any longer. "I love you more than.........God.......I know....I know I'm a pig...........I'm an asshole.......but don't say that I never wanted you......don't say that I never loved you........just because........."

"Just because what Dom?..........Go ahead.....Say it........I wanna see you try and deny this."

"I wasn't gonna deny it, Letty...........I know I fucked up. _Believe me, I know. _I'm sorry Letty......."

"Oh....you're sorry?.............really?..........well that makes everything better", she remarks with sarcasm while rolling her eyes and sitting down in a chair near the end of the bed.

"Letty...", he says in that low scratchy voice she's so accustomed to.

"No Dom......what the fuck am I supposed to say?.........'Oh it's okay that you fucked another girl as long as you say you love me and your sorry about it'?". Dom puts his head in his hands and lies back onto the bed.

Letty looking around the room then back at him, "And why here?"

Dom sort of caught off guard by the question and still trying to process everything answers surprised, "What?" 

"Why here......in your parent's room......what's wrong with your bed?"

"There's nothing wrong with my bed........I just.........I didn't.........", not wanting to tell her the real reason he dances around the question. "I don't know..........I......why does it matter?"

She stands from the chair. She can see he's being shady for a reason, so she persists.

"It matters because I want to know.........why not in your bed?.........do you always fuck other girls in here not in your room?"

"Letty........I don't wanna....."

She continues to persist. "You scared to fuck someone in your room Dom?..........Is it some sort of sick twisted shit to fuck girls on you mom and dad's bed?"

Dom sits up then stands walking away from Letty who is getting closer to him. She can tell he's bothered by what she's saying.

"Do you get off on that Dom?........you get off on fucking in the same bed......"

"Letty stop it", he tells her in a tone that she knows means 'stop, don't go there, just stop', and even though she knows she shouldn't she continues to persist.

"No Dom.....I wanna know what kind of sick twisted psychotic shit your pulling here fucking in your dead...........", and before she can even think about finishing that sentence she can feel Dom's gigantic hand wrapped around her chin. His face directly in front of hers. 

He tells her once again in a final, low, serious voice,"Stop".

He lets go of her face, stares into her eyes, then turns away. Knowing that she crossed a line, she remains silent, but he, much to her surprise, speaks in that same low voice, still turned away from her but with his head turned to one side, his eyes focused on the floor.

"My bed.........is our bed........I would never have sex with another woman..........with anyone other than you, in that bed...........I tried.....but I couldn't stand the thought of being with someone else in the same bed I make love to you in.................that's why....okay?.........so just stop............alright?"

Stunned at his sincerity, and in awe of his loyalty and lack there of she remains silent, but moves closer to him until she is right behind him. She reluctantly reaches out wanting to touch him but still hurt by his actions. So many conflicting emotions run through her. She wants so badly to just forget everything, hug him and have him embrace her in again. At the same time she wants to just beat him and hurt him for the shit he's put her through. She touches him. She's reminded of how beautiful the color of his skin is. Walnut, as Jess described it one time. 

In the second she touches him, all sorts of memories flood her head. 

The first time she laid eyes on Dominic Torretto. She was playing with Mia in her room, and he busted through the door.

"Mia.........dinner's..................who's that?", he looks at the tomboyish 8 year old holding a slingshot.

"This is my friend Leticia....", Letty shoots her a look, "Letty.......my friend Letty."

"I' ve never seen her before."

"She just moved in today."

He looks her again," Well.........mom told me to tell you....and....Lea.....that dinner's ready."

"Her name is Letty!", Mia yelled as he closed the door. From that moment on she was hooked.

Following him and his friends around, trying to be thought of as one of the boys, secretly dying for Dom's affection. With every hit, every insult, she became more and more infatuated. She liked cars before, but when she found that Dom was into them, she was overjoyed. Everyday, she followed him and Vince to his garage, begging them to let her help, and everyday they turned her down. That didn't stop her from going anyway. She pined over him, and he pushed her away every chance he got.

"You're too young.......I'm 16......you're only 12.....", he would tell her. 

Even then he hurt her without knowing it, but eventually he came around. It was after he came home from jail. His dad had already passed before he went in. His mom was still alive then. Letty wrote him while he was in, and when he came home he told her that he really appreciated that. That was the first time he said a kind word to her, the first time he spoke to her like she was a person and not a pest. She was in love with him from that moment on. It wasn't a crush anymore. He was kinder to her after jail, he actually liked her. A year after that, when he was 21 and Letty was 17, his mom died. Mrs. Torretto's death brought them closer than she ever imagined. After the funeral, he saw Letty outside behind the house, crying. He just put his arm around her. Without speaking they just stood. They started spending more time together. Whether it be cars, or just watching TV., they were always together. Dom didn't want to admit it to himself, but he noticed how attractive she was. She had come a long way from the flat-cheated, tomboy, brat he used to know her as. She was different now. He noticed her mind, how talented she was, and how fun she is to be around. He also noticed how filled-out her body was. When no one was looking he would sneak a peak at her curvy form. The tables were turned. It was now he who was infatuated. He was intrigued and down right turned on by her in depth knowledge of all things cars. A woman who knew almost as much as he did about engines and exhaust systems totally blew his mind. 

She thought about the first time they kissed, when she she was 17. In the garage, underneath a 76 Chevy. The smell of oil and gasoline heavy in the air. She put down her wrench and grazed his arm, they looked at each other, and after 9 years of waiting it happened. That was it. That was the beginning of the best, and worst thing that has ever happened to her.

Her mind continues to wander to their first time. They waited an entire 2 years. Dom says it was to make sure she was ready, but she knows it was to make sure he was ready too. He was so gentle with her. He was so rough with everyhting else, but he was always gentle with her. He went slow, not wanting to hurt her more than he already was. She remembers how she bit her lip so she couldn't make a sound. She didn't want him to think he was hurting her. She remembers how smooth his back was..............how his naked skin looked in the scarce light coming in from the window.........and how the stubble of his head lightly scratched her cheek and neck. She's snapped back into reality when the mental picture of the blonde on top of Dom runs through her head. 

He turns to face her in response to her touch.

"Sit down", she says softly. He resumes his seat on the bed, with his eyes fixated on the picture clad wall in front of him. 

She begins to speak, calmly and mellowed,"You were the first person I ever loved. You have my heart, you have my body and my mind.............The first time you cheated on me, I was young......I forgave you because I was afraid to be without you. I dint know who I was without you. I was 'Dom's girl', not Letty. I've loved you since the moment I saw you......", tears begin to well up in her eyes.  Now looking up at her, Dom can tell she's holding back......still trying to be that tough girl. She has that look in her eyes that only he can recognize. He knows this is it. He's cut her this time. _What the fuck have I done?.........I'm gonna lose her_ over_ some blonde bimbo whose name I don't even know,_ he thinks to himself.

"I know you love me..........", she trails off fighting back tears and emotions she's not use to, her voice shaking.

She begins again, trying to compose herself, "I know you love me........but........I can't.......do this anymore...........I'm tired of trying so hard to be...........and not being able to ........please you...........and.........."

"Letty don't......", he pleads, knowing what she's about to do.

"Dom......", she finally breaks and lets her pent up tears roll down her hardened face.

"Dom.......I can't do this anymore.....It's too much......It's over."  With those final 2 words, his heart breaks into a thousand pieces. He feared it, but never thought it would actually happen. Out of no where, tears fall from his eyes.

"Letty.....please....", he says, voice cracking, and his face wet from tears, but not really showing his true emotions. His hands shaking, he reaches out to touch her hand. "Letty.....you can't do this...........".

With all her strength, she pulls away from his touch for the first time in her life. Trying to still be strong at the sight of Dom crying, she steps back from him. _Why did you make me do this?................I love you so much..........I cant do this if you cry too.............I cant walk away from you like this..............I'm so sorry Dom.............I'm so sorry._

When she pulls away the hard truth starts to set in with Dom. _She' really leaving me.........She doesn't love me anymore.........God, what have I done?_

Wiping her face she walks towards the door, "Goodbye Dom".

He stands, face still tear-stained, and pleads one last time, "Letty.....I can't be without you".

She stops, turns towards him, kisses him, and calmly tells him, "Goodbye Dominic".

With those words she walks out the room leaving Dom alone. He sits back down on the bed. She continues down the hall, down the stairs, into the living room for her things, and as she turns to leave a picture of her and Dom on the mantle catches her eye. She stares at it for a second and almost wants go back up to him, but her pain kicks back in and she heads for the door. Dom gets up, walks to his room, and sits at the edge of his bed beating himself mentally for his infidelity, hoping that maybe it was just some horrible nightmare that he'll wake up from soon.

~See when I get the strength to leave 

You always tell me that you need me.......

And I'm mad because I love you.....

So I start to think that maybe

You could learn to appreciate me.....

But then it all remains the same, that

You ain't never gonna change~ 

                                             ~Ashanti's "Foolish"~


	2. Aftermath

Chapter 2

Dom is awakened by the sunlight piercing through the open window of his bedroom. He slowly opens his bloodshot eyes. He gets up from his precarious position in the chair he slept in all night. He looks again out the window that he purposely opened before falling asleep in the chair that he sat right next to the window. He faced the chair in the direction of Letty's house, and sat all night waiting for her to pull into her driveway. He wasn't exactly sure what he would do if and when she came home, but he figured he just wing it. She never came home. She always went home after they fought. He continues to stare at her house. For a moment he thinks to call, but that idea soon fades.

He can hear the conversation with her mother play out in his head, _Mrs. Santiago?.....I was wondering if you've seen Letty...............Yes 'mam...........I know she's supposed to be here but............No 'mam..........Nothing happen......Mrs..........No she's fine...I was just...............Mrs.................everything's fine...................Letty's not dead............Did I hurt her?.............Well.........yes and no...........No! .........I didnt hit her..........Mrs Santiago.................No............Don't call the police.........Don't.......Letty's fine.......I promise..........just don't call the police._

He can't call her. He has no idea where she could be, and that's exactly how Letty wants it. She didn't go home because that's what he would expect. She wanted him to sweat it. She wanted him to know how it felt all those nights she waited, alone on the couch, for him to come home and feed her some sorry excuse for why he's so late. She stayed at some cheap hotel in Long beach, away from anyone who could tell him where she was.

Alone in those four walls, she sat on the bed and cried herself to sleep. At morning she wakes up, knowing what she has to do, knowing that working right next to Dom is going to be harder than when she left him the night before. She can't quit. She needs the money, and no one else will hire her, cause she belongs to him. She checks out and heads for DT Automotive with a heart full of conflicting emotions. Around the same time Dom pulls into the garage, parks his car, gets out and walks straight to the office, before anyone has the chance to talk to him. Leon and Vince know something's up, but they also know from experience and history to just leave him alone. Jesse, on the other hand, is undecided on how to approach this situation. He gets out of the car he was working on and walks over to Leon and V, who seem to be in their own world, laying under a Cougar debating.......fussing, rather, on whether or not the owner would benefit from a cold air intake system.

"Ummmm..........guys?", he interrupts.

"What!?", they yell in unison, rolling out from under the car and sitting up.

"Umm......I think something's wrong with Dominic."

"And?", Leon asks, laying down and rolling back under the car along with Vince. Jesse gives him the finger when out of seeing range, then continues.

"I was just wondering......if maybe we should go talk to him". As soon as the words leave his mouth, the guys both roll back out at an amazing speed and again in 

unison yell, "No!"  Vince stands and wipes his hands while Leon continues to tinker with the under side of the car. 

"Well I just thought that maybe.....", Jesse rambles until Vince puts his hand on his shoulder.

"Look......Jess......trust us on this one........If he wants to talk to anyone......which he usally doesn't.......he'll come to you......okay?" Jess nods in comprehension and walks back over to the car he was working on. Vince looks over at the office where he can see Dom sitting, turned away from the door, away from the garage. His best friend since he could remember, sits downing his second bottle of Corona. Dom is always silent when something's bothering him or when he's afraid. Today he is silent for both reasons. He doesn't like to bother people with his problems. He even hates when people come to him about their shit. He sees it as complaining, as bitching, not as "working through your difficulties" as Mia had told him. Everything......his pain from the death of his parents to almost losing Vince during a race........every emotion, any inkling that would even hint that he's hurting, he keeps a fake facade. He can be dying inside and never show it, but pain was the only emotion he treated that way. The entire team knew that there was nothing on this earth that compared to the wrath of Dominic Torretto. They knew he would never physically hurt them..........too badly........but his words could make them feel about an inch high. Luckily for them, they got to know him pretty quickly. They learned what made him tick, and knew when to back off. But even though she knew when, Letty was the only one who didn't back off. She pushed him almost every chance she got, to test him. She wanted to know that he loved her. She wanted to see how he would respond to her being a prick at his worst moment. It may seem juvenile to outsiders, but that was a legitimate test for Dom. If Dominic Torretto can be seeing red with the entire world and still hold back for her, she knew. She knew that he was using everything in him not to rip her head clear off her body. She'll push him to the point. He'll just get away from her as quick as he can and and put his fist through a wall or break his foot kicking some stationary object. He sits in the office now working on a third bottle, thinking about her. He loves her so much it hurts. The only way he can think of to stop hurting is to get absolutely shitfaced, but the tiny fridge in the office only holds 1 more Corona. He'll just have to wait. He hopes and at the same time fears that Letty will show up to work. He has so much to say, so much to tell her, but deep down he knows she still would never take him back. He knows the reality but doesn't want to think about it. He throws the empty bottle into the waste basket. He gets up and walks out into the garage in hopes to find something to keep his mind busy until he can get home and drink himself into a coma. Before he can get two steps away from the office Mia appears from outside and  passes him mumbling, "Stupid jackasses....cant even get one order straight.......I don't have time to deal with this......I got finals to....". She stops dead in her tracks. Dom keeps walking, hoping she didn't notice the troubled look on his face. 

"Dom?", she ask lightly.

"Yeah, Mia", he responds trying to be his usual moody self. _Just act normal and she'll leave you alone._

She gets closer to him. "You alright?", she ask softly.

"Yeah", he shrugs. 

She looks into his eyes a moment before finally saying, "Okay........I'll be in here if you need me". With that, he breathes a sigh of relief. If Mia knew something was seriously bothering him she would pester him until he talked about it, which he hated, and talking was the last thing he wanted to do right now. She always worries about her brother. Since they lost their parents, Dom has always protected and provided for her. Contrary to popular belief, Mia was also very protective of him. Dom is her whole world and always has been. She'd die before she'd let anything hurt him, and she'd died if anything ever happened to him. Dom knows the she loves him to no end but he doesn't know how much she worries about him. Dom scans the garage in hopes of finding something to keep himself busy with, until he hears cries coming from Jess's direction. 

"Dom!?..........could 'ya help me with these gauges?", he asks seeing that Dom has emerged from the office.

Dom is surprised. _No 'Dom what wrong?'........'Are you okay? ' _Not this time. Jesse just simply asked for his help, seeing that he didn't want to discuss his situation.

"Yeah Jess....I can help you". He enters on the passenger side relieved that his mind is about to be occupied with thoughts that don't involve Letty. At that moment he hears the low rumble of an engine getting closer. His heart sinks. 

"Well I'm glad to see she finally decided to show up", Jesse smirks, as he cranes his neck to see the 240 park outside. Letty walks in with shades and the same clothes she had on the day before. Dom's heart stops as he hears her boots hit the ground next to him. He looks down at the dash and continues to fiddle with the gauges.

"We need to talk", she says dryly, "come on". 

Without protest, he looks at her, follows her to her car, and out of sight.

Okay, so obviously this isn't the end of this story but it's 3:00 a.m., I just came back from a concert, and I'm really beat up and tired.......so....more later......please review! 


	3. Aftermath Cont'd

Before I start this next chapter, I just want to thank everyone who has read and reviewed my writings. Thank you for helping me accomplish a dream. I cannot stress enough how grateful I am for all of your kind words. I've been writing all my life and it is a blessing to finally be able to share my thoughts and ideas with others and be received so well.

                                            ~Andie

Chapter 3

Dead silence. No words, no sounds. Only the low growl of the engine kicking into 5th gear. Letty keeps her eyes forward, on the road. Dom keeps his fixated on the scenery. He breaks the silence.

"I thought we were gonna talk?", he ask in an annoyed tone. They've been driving now for an hour and a half.......in complete silence.

"We are", she tells him. There's no more hint of hurt in her voice and manner. It's still there, but it's locked away from the surface. She's had time to think about this. She's past feeling sorry for herself and thinking she's nothing without him. Now she wants an answer. After loving him for so long and so deeply, after giving him her very soul, she deserved that much. It's not about his infidelity, it's about their love. Their love. She's by no means over him, but their relationship can't ever be the same again. Even if she were to forgive him, how could she ever trust him again. All these thoughts run through her mind. She begins to doubt herself again. Letty, be strong..........don't let him get away with hurting you. You know what you have to do......., she mentally reminds herself. Soon Dom notices that traffic has ceased. He looks ahead. He sinks down into the seat.

"Where are we going?", he asks, now calm.

"I needed to talk to you.....away from everybody.....away from everything.", she answers him, not taking her eyes from the road.

"So there's more to talk about?", he retorts with touch of hope in his voice. He turns and looks at her.............loose hairs that have escaped from her ponytail whip at her face. She stares at the road like it may disappear if she looked away. Letty could hear the hope. Still confused on what the outcome of this will be, she cant just give him a 'yea' or 'nay'. With a yes, he could assume that her mind was already made up to forgive and forget. Like, I could ever forget this. If she said no, then why would they be out here in the middle of nowhere. She figures the best answer to his question, is no answer at all. She remains silent. He continues to look at her. He settles back into his seat. He looks back out at the scenery and his surroundings suddenly become familiar. The pull off of the lonely 2-lane road, and drive through the barren desert until they reach an oasis of sorts, where the forest meets the desert. Red rocks cascade down the cliff where the forest ends She rides up to a cave-like formation in the side of the rock. A smile creeps across Dom's face. His laughter begins to fill the car. Letty smiles in response.

"I didn't think you remembered this place", he chuckles.

"How could I forget it?", she smiles back at him. They pull up to the mouth of the cave and park. Dom gets out first, grinning.

"Aww man!.........I haven't been here since......God knows when.", he walks towards the cave looking up, mouth gaping open.

Letty gets out, still smiling, almost forgetting the reason they are there. She sits on the hood of the car, watching him inspect every inch of the old hangout. 

He turns towards her and smiles. His eyes light up as an idea enters his mind.

"I wonder if that car.......you know?.......the one we used to race out here before......you know?..........the one in that shed.", he says pointing to the dilapidated shed behind them.

Letty looks back at it. "I'm sure it is..........I mean it wasn't that long ago." She hops off the car and follows Dom who has already started towards it. They open the doors and bust into laughter. The car is no longer even recognizable as a vehicle. Dom walks over to open the door and it falls off in his hand. They laugh even harder.

"I cant believe we actually used to drive this thing", Dom struggles, crying from amusement.

They take in a few more looks at the rust encrusted automobile and exit the shed still laughing. They reach Letty's car and sit on the hood as their laughter fades. For what seems like an eternity, they just sit.......quiet..........neither wanting to dive into the inevitable sooner than necessary.

"Letty?", Dom breaks the silence.

"Yeah?"

He hesitates for a moment, then licks his lips before continuing. 

"I love you", he says softly.

"Dom....."

"No, I.........I never told you that enough......And I'm sorry for that.......I mean I know that doesn't change the fact that..................but I just want to apologize to you........for any time I ever made you feel.......unappreciated or..........inadequate............for all the times I hurt you............you're the best thing that has ever happened to me...............and I should've let you know that. I hate myself for hurting you. And I know that you don't want to be with me anymore...........but........Letty......I cant.......I get physically sick at the thought of not being with you. My chest hurts, I cant breath. Last night, when you left, it took every bit of strength in me to just blow my head off......", he gushes emotionally, which is not in his nature. Because it's not like him to just pour out his feelings, especially without being pressured into it, she knows he honestly means every single word he's saying. It's too much for her. 

"Dominic.....", Letty's weakend voice interrupts. Tears streaming down her face, the only evidence of her pain. She cries a silent cry. No sobbing, only wet salty trails left by a lifetime's worth of pent up sadness. They fall and make small muddy droplets in the dust. She sits with her hands clasped at the back of her neck and her head down. She raises her head and turns away from Dom. She can't look at him right now. It's all too much. Her voice still hoarse from sobbing all night in her gaudy hotel room, she begins to think aloud on purpose.

"How.......how can I just let you do this.........and........if I took you back......how do I know you wont just do it again...............I cant trust you Dom.................the only reason you...........is because you got caught and........You just......you just fucked everything up...", she rants.

"Lett, I know I........."

"No, Dom, you dont know. We're not kids anymore. This is not like the time you took my underwear out of Mia's room and showed them to all your friends and made fun of me. God.....even then you only apologized cause your parents made you", she rages regaining confidence.

"Letty...."

"This is real, with real feelings, and real lives involved Dom. You and Mia and the team are my entire world. You're the only people, next to my mom that matter to me. Did you think about any of that while you were banging Lisa or Nicole or Melody or.....who ever the fuck else you fucked around with?", Dom now standing, drops his head, "What did you actually think people dont talk? Like you never noticed the 'hey I fucked your boyfriend' looks I get at the races, the whispers every time I walked by a group of race queens", her hardness fades a bit as she also stands and walks away from the car, "You don't think that shit hurt, Dom?"

He follows her as she walks towards the sunset still talking. 

"Do you even know how hard this is gonna be? Seeing each other everyday and not....", she turns around to see Dom facing her. She looks into his deep brown eyes piercing her, then down at the ground.

"You can make this all go away...........It doesnt have to be like that", he pleads. He gently pulls her chin up and kisses her softly. She surrenders for a moment, missing the touch of his lips, the taste of his mouth, being that close to him. Her hands move from her sides to his neck then down his chest resting on his stomach. His hands now on her hips advance to her back. His massive arms swallow her petite body and they embrace. Neither wanting to let go, they just stand and hold each other. Without words they just mutually agreed to forget for a moment. They've been through so much together. No matter how hurt she was, the fact of the matter was that she still loved him, and nothing would change that. Whether they ended it now or 50 years from now she will love him as long as she lives. After a few moments, Dom jolts them both back into reality.

"Letty.....I can't be without you." 

She stands back from him, emotionally drained and just plain tired.  

"Yeah, Dom........you can", she pauses, "because I wont have it any other way", she tells him, looking him directly in the eye. That's the final word and he knows it. He looks her up and down, then nods. She looks behind her at the setting sun then back at Dom who is making his way back to the car. She ensues then gets in. She puts the key in the ignition, then leans back into her seat. Without looking at Dom she breaks the silence.

"So what happens now?"

"You dont have to quit, if that's what your asking", Dom answers blankly staring out the window with a cold look plastered on his face.

"Thanks", she says quietly, "but that's not all I meant.....what happens with us.......are we still gonna be close or do you want me to never talk to you again?"

"We can be close if you want, Letty", he remarks dryly, still blankly staring into the wilderness. She cranks the car, exhausted, weary, and anticipating having to actually sleep in her own house tonight. She's tired. Tired of constantly rehashing this and tired of hurting. She pulls back on to the asphalt road and heads home....... literally. She looks over at a silent pensive Dom. It's gonna be a long ride, she thinks to herself.

Ok.....you dont have to say it.........but in my defense I just want to blame it on the alcohol. Yeah this chapter sucks, but you will all be glad to know that my graduation shindig kicked big fat ass! While I am partial to liquor(you cant go wrong with vodka and O.J.), as a tribute to TFATF I did down a few Coronas, and I will have you know that I did not hurl, but the hangover was something serious. 

Fun Fact: If you have a weak stomach, don't touch the Goldschläger. You'll be picking gold flakes out of your nose for weeks!(trust me on this one)

*For Diedra

                 Senior Trip: A drunken stupor laced with spurts of unintended stupidity

                                      with the occasional pass of gas and other bodily fluids!!!!!!

Be safe and God bless kids! Please review!

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	4. Picking up the pieces

***Note to readers**: I'm gonna take some really good advice and start writing this from one characters POV, only switching as needed (thanks FreeSpiritedOne).

                                                                                 ~Andie

Chapter 4

Now back in the city, we pull into my driveway, she cuts off the engine. There's an awkward silence between us that we've never experienced. After a moment I lean over to kiss her goodnight, then, suddenly realizing my mistake, I stop myself.

"Sorry......force of habit", I whisper closing my eyes. I just wanted to touch her lips again. I want things to go back to the way they were. Letty turns towards me.

"Yeah......I know....it's okay", she says to me quietly. I reach for the handle and get out. I start walking to my porch like a man on death row. Letty, I guess, wanting to make a speedy exit, immediately cranks her car, but before she can back out I call from the porch. 

"I'll see you at work tomorrow?" 

That's not what I really wanted to say. I wanted to scream 'Please don't leave me!', 'I need you!', 'I love you.' but my mouth and my heart  didn't agree with each other. My mouth won this one. She stops, looks at me, and nods. She quickly pulls out of the driveway and roars down the street to her house. I watch her through the blinds from inside. 

"What are we looking at?", Mia, who is now directly behind me, asks cheerfully. I quickly close the disturbed portion of the blinds and turn to walk upstairs. 

"Nothing", I say coldly. I didn't mean to say it like that, but I want her to know that I'm not in the mood. 

"Where's Letty?", she asks following me to the stairwell.

"At home."

"Oh, is she still outside?.......why didn't you leave the door....."

"Not here, Mia......at home.......her house." I stop to face her at the bottom of the stairs.

"Goodnight", I tell her in that 'I don't wanna talk about it right now' tone.

"Goodnight", she says quietly to my back.

I walk upstairs to my room trying to take all this in. We're not together anymore.........what the hell am I gonna do now? I shake my head to clear my mind, and lay down, exhausted, and fully clothed. I think to get up to watch Letty pull into her drive. What's the use?........It's not gonna bring her back.I turn over onto my front side, and drop my weary head into the pillow. It smells like her. The linen still holds her scent from 2 nights ago. I cringe in pain and feel my eyes begin to burn from holding them open. I slam them shut and force out tears that had welled up. Here I lay alone wishing she were here. A million thoughts run through my head. Ways I could've been better, things I should've done, things I shouldn't have done. Things Letty told me that I never knew she felt. She actually thought I never wanted her. Just the idea, that I made her feel that way, forced more tears out of me. I've cried more, in these past 2 days, than I have my whole life. I feel like scum. I'm her one true love and I hurt her. I slept with another woman. I fucked up my life, and hers, in the process. I can't get over the fact that she may not love me anymore. She doesn't even know how much I live for her approval. I cant live if she doesn't love me.  I get this nauseous feeling in my stomach. Before I know it, my knees are pressed against the tile, and I'm hugging the toilet tighter with every violent contraction of my stomach. As the bouts of vomiting begin to die down, I find myself curled into a ball on the floor. Finally, with my bare scalp pressed against the chilled floor, I find peace in slumber. It feels like only a second passes before I can feel a small hand rubbing my back.

"Dom", she whispers. My eyes, clouded over with sleep, struggle to make out the unknown figure. Letty?..........I close my eyes agian. It can't be her. Mia.

"Sweetheart, did you fall asleep in here." I knew it was definitely Mia as soon as I heard 'sweetheart'. I open my eyes again. Stiff from the fetal position I was in all night, I slowly pull myself up.

"Yeah......I wasn't feeling well", I tell her hoarsely, while she rubs my head like mom used to when I was sick.

"Well......do you feel better now?", she looks into my eyes. I can't look Mia in the eye and lie to her. It's like she'll know immediately that I'm being shady, so I look down.

"Yeah" I get up slowly, my head still spinning from the night before.

"Well you still look kinda pale........you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah.....I'm good", I tell her cracking my back. I can feel her giving me that 'don't bullshit me' glare.

"Mia, I'm fine..........really." 

"Ok", she sighs.  "But I still think you should stay home today......and rest."

That sounded like a really good idea. I don't think I could face Letty right now anyway, especially for a whole day. The thought of working with her, side by side, made me nauseous again. I choked back the thoughts for my stomachs sake, and nodded in agreement. Mia goes to leave, but not without a final bit of caring advice.

"I know you may not want to, but try to eat something......crackers or dry toast.......and drink lots of fluids.......there's some Gatorade in the fridge.......No beer!......and I'll be in the office all day, so just call if you need something......I'll try to stop by and check on you at lunch......so...........Are you sure your gonna be okay by yourself all day?", she asks wincing.

"Yes Mia.....I'll be fine", I try to reassure her, walking her to my door. She hugs me and I kiss her forehead. She leans back.

"You just been so frail looking lately.......and I'm just worried about you.", she says rubbing my head again. I let out a tired laugh. 

"Mia your gonna be late for work."  She finally leaves yelling 'I love you" as she runs out the door.

Let off the hook by Mia, of all people. I wonder what Letty will think when I dont show up today. Maybe she'll see how much this is bothering me. Maybe she won't care at all. Maybe she wont even be there. My damn head wont stop spinning, and I know that if I continue to rehash this thing, everybody's gonna think I'm bulimic. Think about something else. Engine swaps. 96 Integra.......Stock B18C1.......swap for a.........B20B VTECH............98 Civic........Stock D16A...........swap with a H22A.......97 Del Sol.......Stock D16A.....swap.....B18C5. I've never slept so soundly in my life. I don't know how, but thinking of possible engine swaps lulls me every time. I found my self just laying on my bed, awake, and anticipating a whole day home, alone.

Ok darlings, I'm tired. I'll write more tomorrow. The whole family will be out of town.(Kick ass!) Party at my place......BYO booze! J/K  But before I go, there's something I must say, I've been reading a bunch of different TFATF fics (not just on fanfic.net, but other places too), and I've noticed that the general thought is that NOS is the only N2O(nitrous oxide) system brand in the world......why does everyone think that?  There are NX and ZEX systems that are way smarter and powerful than NOS. Some ZEX systems also come in higher shots than NOS usually offers. So everyone out there.......please give the other systems some play time.......they feel left out!  Please dont think I'm a smart ass for saying that. I'm really not.....I was just wondering, and I'm by no means an expert, but like I said I was just wondering. Goodnight and God bless!

                                                                                                 ~Andie 


	5. Home Again

Chapter 5

I pull in as quietly as possible. I hope I don't give Ma' a heart attack. I slowly walk up the steps skipping over the top one. It always squeaked. That top step has gotten me into a world of trouble. Almost every single time I tried to sneak in after my curfew that tattle-tell wooden step would always seal my fate. The porch light would flip on and I could instantly feel my mother's icy glare cutting through my plans for the next weekend.

"You should've just stayed....at least then you could've just told me you spent the night with Mia", she would say sarcastically, knowing that I stop staying at the Toretto's for Mia a long time ago. I mean, Mia was still my best friend, but I never stayed till 2 am to be with Mia. I can see a familiar blue glow coming from the window. Man, I miss that. There's always something on in my house, whether it be the t.v., the bathroom light, or the fluorescent light over the sink, something was always on. Dom and Mia are like freaking vampires. If it wasnt for the street light outside near Dom's window, I'd end up wetting myself every time I had to go to the bathroom during the night. I look down at the keys in my hand and hope they still work. It's been nearly 4 years since I've spent more than 30 minutes at my house. Yeah I only stay a few houses down, but, when I moved in...........I really moved in. I mean I've visited Ma', but not as much lately as I used to. I almost feel like the Prodigal Son, returning home. I stand between the screen door and the front door. "Here I go", I whisper to myself. I slide the key into the knob, then into the deadbolt. I push the door with my hip. Ma' sits on the couch wrapped in a blanket with her reading glasses still on. Great. How do I wake her up now without scaring the living shit out of her? I put my coat down. 

"Ma'?", I whisper softly as possible. I should've called her so she would've at least known that I might drop by. Not really wanting to wake her, I walk over, take her glasses off her face, and lay them on the end table. Her hair is up in a bun. My mom always looked older than she really was. She had me when she was 16. I've never met my father. He died long before I was born. I dont know exactly what happen, but Ive heard bits and pieces of the story. Something about my mother coming to America from the Dominican Republic at 15 to visit some family. She met my dad who was in the military, got knocked up, went back home, her dad found out and sent her to live with my Great Aunt Rosaría here in California. My dad died shortly after, and My Aunt raised my mother and me until she could move out on her own. I kiss her softly on the cheek, and my heart races because she shifts at my touch. I hold my breath, and she settles. She would surely scream herself into an early grave if she woke to find a strange figure standing 1 inch from her face. I quietly click the t.v. off and walk up the dark stairway. I feel flushed for some reason. I open the door to my old stuffy room. My bed is made. That's not the way I left it. She, being the neat freak as always, cleaned up in here. She didnt, however, put away all the clothes I left laying around. The day I turned 18, I gathered up as many articles of clothing as I could and set up shop in Dom's room. I haven't slept in here since. I flip on the lamp beside my bed. My bed. "My bed", I whisperd to myself in disbelief. A reddish-orange glow illuminates everything. I look around while taking off my boots. Forgetting where I am, I chuck them at the floor, and flinch at the loud thump they make on the carpet. I miss the carpet. I quickly slip off my socks and plant my bare feet in the plush floor. I can remember when Mia came to our house for the first time and thought we were rich because the only other person she knew with carpeting was her wealthy Uncle Sal. I curl my toes capturing the tiny threads, then releasing them. I cant help but smile. No more cold wooden floors in the middle of the night. I cant believe I'm here. I almost dont know what to do with myself. I slip off my bra, then my pants. No need to take off the top, I guess. I only really done that for Dom. I never really liked being all bare chested while I sleep. Im a wild sleeper, and the thought of someone walking in while I was sleep and seeing my bare breast, always has irked me, but Dom liked feeling them against his back or something, so I done it for him. I take one last look around. Posters of Porches and Jaguars still littered my walls, along with the occasional picture of Joey Lawrence and Sting the wrestler. "What the hell was I thinking?", I unconsciously say out loud. I shake my head and realize how much I have changed. Tired and fully dreading going to work tomorrow, I turn off the lamp and get into bed guided by the glow of the bathroom light. I sigh heavily at the feel of the cold sheets touching my skin. It feels wrong not having Dom's massive arm wrapped around my waist and tucked under my hand. I almost feel naked not having his entire body pressed aginst my back. I flip my hair out from under head. I stop myself then turn over to apologize for flipping my hair in his face, but no one is there to apologize to. This is gonna take a while to get used to. I wonder what he's doing. I quickly get up from my bed and walk to my mother's room in the front of the house. I peek out through the lacy drapes at the Toretto house. The porch light is on as usual. My eyes wander up to Dom's bedroom window. No lights, no movement, closed curtains. Disappointed, I let my eyes linger on his window. I cant even remember how many times I've stood in this exact spot, while my mother slept peacefully in her bed, and peered out at Dom's window. Suddenly a faint light appears in his window. Not bright enough to be the lamp............must be the bathroom. This is silly. I broke up with him, remember? He cheated on me. I shut the drapes and make my way back to my bed. I lay looking up at the ceiling wishing I were with him. God, I want to be with him. I miss him already. How am I gonna make it through tomorrow? Hell, how am I gonna make it through tonight? I wonder what he's thinking. I wonder if he's thinking about me. I wonder if he even misses me. I switch positions in hopes to shake these thoughts out of my head. The silence is deafening, piercing my ears. Maybe he has someone in his room with him. Another one-night-stand. He sure doesn't waste any time. Convinced that he is already banging someone else, I drift off, infuriated and the corner of my pillow clenched tightly in my fist. My mind runs a mile a minute all night.

It mind fills with visions of Dom and that girl. She was pretty. Prettier than me. Maybe that's why he done it. He wanted someone better looking. Maybe I should change......stop acting like......or stop being........me. Im obviously not what he wants anymore. He should've just told me.........but he didnt act like he wanted to break up. He wasnt being distant or mean. I feel like a little jealous girl. I cant stop asking myself over and over 'why doesnt he love me? '. Does he even know how much I love him? Did I tell him enough? Is it my fault? Did I push him away? Did I let my pride keep me from showing him how much I needed him? Stupid me always trying to prove that I'm not the girly girl, always trying to show everyone how strong I am, always holding my guard up, never letting anyone in, never trusting anyone........but I trusted him, and look what it got me. I showed him that I trust him the only way I knew how. Not with words, with my actions. He knew what a big deal it was for me to let him hold my hand or kiss me in public. I didnt want people to think that he owned me or that I was like all the other chicks hanging off their boyfriends trying to be seen. I was my own person and I could hold my own. I needed people to see that, but I let him show me affection. He knew that was a big thing for me. I gave him that. That was how I showed my trust and my love. When we were alone my guard was always down. I was totally uninhibited with him. I was goofy and stupid. He was one of the only people in the world that got to see me like that on a daily basis. I wasnt afraid to be like that in front of him. I cant help but think that Ill never find someone else I can be that comfortable with. I dont want to find someone else. I want him. I want his prickly head nestled into the curve of my neck. I want his rough calloused hands on my hip with his thumb wrapped around the waistband of my underwear. I finally fall asleep, hurt, and missing him desperately.

"Caraniña?", a voice whispers softly in my sub-conscious mind. Mama. My mama. I quickly turn over and before I know it Im holding on to her for dear life. 

"Mama", I begin to sob. My eyes are instantly flooded with tears and I hold her tighter. It's been so long. I almost forgot what it felt like to hug her. I dont even know why I'm crying. I pride myself on being a hardcore bitch, but at the sound of my mother's voice I am reduced to a blubbering mess, and I dont care who knows it. Instead of waking to Dom, I awake to her kind voice. 

"Niña, why are you crying?", she whispers inquisitively. Not even understanding myself, I just shake my head and continue to weep into her shoulder. She pats my back softly and gently rocks back and forth. In this moment, I feel the safest and most content I've been in the past few days. A calm washes over me. My mother pulls back from me and wipes my face with a slight smile on hers.

"At first I thought someone had come and break in, but then I pulled back the covers and realized it was you", she says softly with her heavy accent coming through. We both laugh.

"I'mb sorry.....I bent ta call", I tell her my nose completely stopped up. I turn around and lay back in to her lap.

"Tell me wha happen, Niña", she says gently stroking my hair. Oh I miss her rubbing my hair. Makes me almost wish I were 8 again. Before all the drama. I wish I could go back and tell my 8 year old self all the shit I know now. Who am I kidding? I would've done everything the same way. I would've rather loved him and had this still happen than never experienced his love at all. I recount the story about Dom cheating on me, leaving out the details of how I caught him, and what exactly he was doing when I caught him. 

"I miss him, Ma."

"I know you do, chica, but It sounds like you need to be away from him for a while."

She speaks truth. I sit up looking at the clock on the wall. 8:00 a.m. One hour before I start one of the hardest days of my life. She notices me looking at the clock.

"Will he be there today?", she reads my mind, getting up from my bed.

"Probably", I nod. She kisses my forehead and begins to walk towards the door.

"It's good to have you back Niña", she calls back smiling. I smile and sigh. I dont want this good feeling to go away. Back to life. I walk over to my closet to see if I left any descent clothes behind. I push back hangers of my Jr. High and early High School attire. Why the hell was I so into stripes. My eyes light up when I spot my ripped, holey, Levis, from my 'Joey Lawrence on Blossom' days. I cant believe I stop wearing these. People pay an arm and a leg for jeans like this now. I remember when me and Mia made them. My mom almost killed me for "ruining a perfectly good pair of pants". I throw them on the bed and continue to search for a shirt. Nothing but stripes and brightly colored 

t-shirts. I refuse to walk into the shop wearing a lime green top. I walk over to my vanity and search through it frantically. I know it's here somewhere. I finally find it, a wife beater I stole from Dom's room while he was in lock up. Mia doesnt even know I took it. I figured he had so many he wouldnt miss it. I take a quick shower. The hot water in this house runs out fast. Back in my room I dry off and slip the tank on. I also pull on some black boxer-briefs I had of Dom's over my underwear. You can tell that I was not sexually active in high school by just looking at my old underwear. I take his clothes a lot. His t-shirts, his boxers. Most of my wardrobe is supplied by him. I hope I haven't gained too much weight since freshman year. I slip on the jeans, and I must say they look damn good on me. I undo then pull my hair back again gathering all the loose strands released during the night. I grab my wallet from my other pants and attach the chain to my belt loop. I close my door on my way out. I skip down the stairs, happy to be home but weary of the day looming before me.

"I'll be back later, Ma'", I yell to the kitchen. I step outside and Im almost knocked over by the heat. Thank God there's a breeze coming of the ocean. I get in my car and hesitantly start the engine. My eyes catch the reflection of the Toretto house in my rearview mirror. Mia's already at work......no surprise there......but Dom's still home. I look at the console...........9:10. He's never late for work. The world could be ending and you would still find Dom at work at 9 am on a week day. 10 on a Saturday.  He's never sick. The only kid I know that had perfect attendance all 4 years of high school. He had more that his share of tardies but he always managed to make it to school. I'm late enough as it is......and Dom's a big boy. He can deal. I turn my system up as far as it'll go and pull out slowly. I almost forgot that I cant just fly out like I usually do. I'm in a whole different drive way. I begin that all to familiar trip to DT Automotive, almost excited to get back to work. 

Ok people, I know your tired of hearing this speech, but I just took a muscle relaxer, it's 3 a.m.(Like the movie Michelle Rodriguez was in!), and I must be in attendance at church tomorrow so.........More later. G'night everyone!


	6. Getting back to life

Chapter 6

Oh, the garage. I've only missed one day, but it feels like years. The guys are already hard at work, Mia is in the office, and Dom has yet to arrive...............thank God. 

"Hey Let", Jess yells from under a car as I pass by.

"Hey Jess" I set my jacket in the office and say hi to Mia, who is on the phone. She motions for me to stay in the office then hangs up the phone.

"Why didn't you come home last night?"

"Uh......Mia.....it's a long story......I promise I'll call you tonight, okay?", I tell her inching back towards the garage.

"Call me?......you're not coming home tonight either?", she asks confused. I really dont want to deal with this again. I quickly exit the office yelling "I'll call you!" I just want to get myself busy. I want to be elbow deep in a car right now. 

"Somebody give me something to do!", I yell to the inhabitants of the garage. Any other time, I would be bombarded with shit to do as soon as I walked in, oh, but the day Im anxious to get to work, we're slow. 

"Check the board, Einstein!", Vince yells to me. I walk over to scan the dry erase board.

Ford Focus-oil change.......Jesse.....Im glad he got to it before I had to.........77 Grand Prix-tune up.....now, that's a car.....Leon, great........Acura RSX-various int., see printout..........empty. I sign my name in the slot.

"See printout?", I ask myself out loud.

"In the office!", Vince yells again. I wasnt aware he had heard me. I go into the office where Mia hands me the printout from the customer.

"Damn", I remark going over the list. Who ever this is, knows exactly what they want and wants it done to a tee. I mean, the specifications are endless. This is gonna take a while. Now I realize why no one else had picked up on this one. They must have got to the printout first. Well at least my mind will be far away from thoughts of Dom for at least the next 2 weeks.............well 3 weeks, from another look at this list. They practically want us to rip out everything and replace it............everything. Not to mention, body, engine, brake and exhaust work, but that's somebody elses problem.....I only signed up for the interior. I walk outside and get in the car. The interior is pretty shitty. I pull it into a free area in the garage and get out.

"So, your gonna tackle the Acura?", Leon ask smiling walking over to me wiping his hands. 

"Just the interior", I flash a quick sarcastic smile back. He walks away and I open all the doors and grab the list to assess the situation. First things first......the seats. 

"MOMO Racer reclining seats-matching buckets in back- black and slate gray...", I read aloud from the list. I wonder if this shit has been ordered already. Either way I might as well get the old shit out, so I begin to pull the seats out, unconnecting wires and bolting along the way. Twenty minutes later the fronts are out. With the extra space I easily climb in to the back and begin to pull those out. The back is always harder. About thirty more minutes later the back seat are out and the car looks even more shitty than before. I walk into the office sweaty and pushing stray hairs behind my ears. Mia is on the phone so I plop down to momentarily enjoy the air conditioning on the couch. 

"So are you feeling better?..........Good.....have you eaten anything?...........well what are you doing?......well what do you expect?........Well I gotta get back to work.....yeah.......she's here, why?.........okay.........umm, I guess I'll do some stuffed rigatoni, or something.....and I'm sorry your bored, but if you really wanted something to do you could clean your room, for one.........yeah me too.....I'll be home soon....okay....love you too.....bye."

"That was Dom, wasn't it?", I ask trying not to sound interested.

"Yeah.....what is going on with you two?"

"Nothing", I answer quickly trying to get off the subject. "I just came in here to find out if we already got the Acura parts......well, the seats, cause it looks like that's all I'm gonna get done today..." She spins around and searches for an invoice on the desk. She grabs a pink slip of paper, and spins back around to face me.

"Uhhhh.......yeah....came in yesterday......they should be in the storage room", she tells me eyeing the paper. I quickly nod and turn to leave.

"You didnt answer my question!", she yells to my back. I walk into the store room and take a deep breath. I hate asking the guys for help. It makes me feel so damn small and like a......well, a chick. Fucking racing seats. If Dom were here he would do it for me without giving me shit. He knew how much it took for me to swallow my pride and ask for help, so he never ragged on me about it. I refuse to ask for help. I try to get a good grip with one hand on the bottom and the other around the top. I mean they're not all that heavy, but this is gonna take a minute and I want to get these bitches in before closing. One by one, I drag the seats out to the car. I then go and get the bucket set and slowly but surely get it back to the car. Now comes the installation. Wait. I look up at the clock. It's 1:00. Hell yeah......lunch. I walk to the office and ask Mia who's doing the lunch run. She tells me nobody has said they would, so I offer to. I collect the orders and head to the sandwich shop Dom and Mia opened a few years ago. Mia works there on odd days. The other 3 days of the week she's here and they hired a kid they trusted to work the market. I get out of the stuffy garage and head towards the shop. The quickest way over is down the street where we live, so I pass by my house. I then look over at the Toretto's and Dom's car. I do a double take because another car is in their driveway. The car is oddly familiar. I finally get to the market, head in and, still trying to figure out why that car is there and where I've seen it before. I place the orders and sit outside sipping on a bottle of Sprite. Red Celica......red Celica.......it was in the shop about a week ago......oil change, cause Jesse was covered in oil for the rest of the day.............who picked it up?..........a guy........no..... a girl.............ditzy blonde..........blonde. It hits me like a ton of bricks. I feel the bottle slip out of my hands. Everything turns into slow motion. No sound......no movement. I gasp for air. I close my eyes. She came in to pick up her car. I saw her from a distance......only the back of her head......long blonde hair. The same long blonde strands I saw on the back of the couch one night while I was watching t.v. with Mia. No one in that house had blonde hair. The same head of blonde hair that whipped around on top of Dom. I gasp for another breath. My mind flashes back to Dom calling my name when I caught them.

"Letty?"............."Letty?"......."Letty, you okay?........here's your order."

Karen sits the bags down on the metal table as I snap out of it. I look down.

"I spilled my drink", I say my voice shaking.

"It's okay.....I'll get it up........are you sure you're okay?"

"I got to get back to the shop", I say not even hearing Karen. I quickly grab the bags and walk back to my car. I get in and start the ignition my mouth still gaping open. I drive shaking, back to the garage, glaring in amazement at the red Celica I passed cluelessly only moments ago. It was at least a week in the making.......at least. I pull in to the shop and try to compose myself. Maybe he met her earlier then told her to bring her car in. I can just see them laying on the couch after fucking ,and her talking about her car running kinda funny in her ditzy dumbass voice, and Dom stroking her hair and telling her he could fix it. He lied about everything. I bet he didnt even mean any of the shit he told me. That night when I told him I would be kinda late coming in, he didnt even care. When he missed the races last weekend. It's all adding up. It wasnt just a one night thing......and it was all right under my nose. I can feel the everything in my insides begin to rise. I swallow hard and quickly fling the bags to Leon

"Let, you okay?", he yells as I run outside to a small shaded patch and drop to my knees. I begin to cry and puke and cough as the guys run outside and huddle around me.

"Mia!?.......Get out here!", I can hear Vince yell between chucks. I cover my eyes as I stop puking and spit remnants of food and saliva. I dont want them to see me like this. Mia runs out to me, I throw my arms around her and begin to sob loudly. She, knowing me all to well, motions for the guys to leave.

"She's okay......I got it", she tells them.

"You sure Mi.......I mean she dont look okay", Jesse retorts, highly concerned.

"Jess......guys......I got it....she's fine", she says softly. They get the idea, and leave, against their better judgment. 

"I dont know what happen man, she just threw me the bags and started blowing chunks", I can hear Leon telling them on their way back in.

"Girl, what is going on?", she whispers to me, her voice sounding scared and almost annoyed. I know she isn't annoyed, she's just tired of not knowing the situation and still having to deal with it, and I'm tired of keeping it from her. I tell her everything down to very last details, crying all the way, and peeping in the shop to make sure the guys aren't coming. I hate not letting them in on it. They love me just as much as I love them, and if what just happen to me were to happen to one of them I would be dying to know and wanting to help too. I just cant.....not yet. This has all happened so fast that I dont even believe it myself. She just sits with me rubbing my back. I know she's torn between us.......and I hate her having to be in the middle like this.

"I cant lose you too, Mia", I tell her, looking her straight in the eye. Just the thought of not being able to talk to her........she's my sister......we're not blood, but she's my sister. Since the day we met..........I begin to tear up again. She just pulls me close and squeezes me tighter.

"I'm not going anywhere", she tells me crying. I know Mia understands. She knows better than anyone how much I love him, how much he means to me, and all the crap I've been through, cause she's been through it with me. She's virtually the only person I can trust not to betray me, or not to tell my secrets......now that I cant trust Dom. I hear footsteps so I wipe my face quickly and look away. Vince extends a hand with a box of Kleenex to Mia. She takes it sniffing and saying thank you. I feel horrible not looking at him.....my damn pride. I begin to cry again.

"Letty?", he starts off. "You dont have to say anything or look at me.....but the guys and I just want you to know......that whatever it is.......where here for you, if you need anything", he finishes. I love them so damn much. Here I am being a little self-absorbed brat, and they still want me to know that they care. I begin to sob quietly still looking away. I cant stand being like this. I feel so helpless.

"Thank you, Vince", Mia says softly. He walks away slowly. I turn back to Mia who hands me a tissue. I wipe my puffy itching eyes and blow my nose.

"I just hate da fact dat I'm letting it get to me like dis.......it's like my whole life is just stoppin' right now in dis moment and like it'll neber get going again", I tell her between blows.

"Letting it get to you?..........Letty you've loved him most of your life........I'm just glad that you haven't killed your self......or him......or the girl, for that matter, yet."

"Oh believe me, the latter two have crossed my mind more that a few times", I tell her nodding and throwing my tissue down.

"Your taking this a lot better than I would have."

"It wouldn't happen to you, your not that stupid"

"Dont say that.............dont blame yourself for Dom's mistakes..............Did he blame this on you?.........did he tell you that it was your fault!?........cause if he did.....", she starts ranting, angrily.

"No.....Mia, he didnt blame me........and I dont blame myself for him cheating, I blame myself for letting him", I interject.

"Letting him.....cheat?..........You knew?", she asks bewildered.

"I had an idea that he might be, but I just chose not to think about it. Instead of asking him or confronting him......I just......ignored it and hoped that it wasnt really happening......."

"You guys?....uh", Jesse walks out to us, cutting in. "We decided that with all the......uh....you know....that maybe we could just close up fo the day and head home, cause....I mean nobody has come in in a while, and we've gotten a bunch of work done.........I know it's only two, but.....you know..."

"Okay, Jess", Mia interjects.

"No.....you guys dont have to close up cause of me......I'm okay", I try to tell them.

"No it's okay, Let......I dont think we'll get much more work done anyway, so....." 

"Mia......you guys..........Im okay......I promise", I stand and look directly at her for the last part. She hugs me.

"Okay", she whispers in my ear. "She's okay", she turns around to tell Jess. She turns back to me and mouths 'take the rest of the day off'. I nod and she walks back inside.

"You guys just wanted to leave early.....that's it", I can hear Mia laughing, and still sniffing.

"Naw, we really were......", Leon trails off walking out of earshot. I look at my keys laying on the hot mid-day pavement. I must have dropped them running out. I pick them up and they burn my hand for a second. I get in my car feeling a little better, but knowing that on my way home, that red car is still gonna be there.

Okay peeps, it's been real. More later. Please review, and check out my website. There's a link to it on my fanfiction profile, and sign the guestbook so that I know you were there.....oh and if anyone wants me to post their fan fiction on my site, e-mail me or let me know in a review, or something.....I would really appreciate it! 

~Andie


	7. Clueless

Chapter 7

494......495.......496. There are 496 Smith's in the phone book. Wow. I am so fucking bored. Im almost contemplating going into the garage today anyway. I never knew staying at home all day could be this boring. Clean my room, yeah right. Mia's phone call sparked the counting of surnames in the phone book. Letty's at work. I wonder what she's doing. I hear a knock at the door. I get up from my sunken in place on the couch and hesitantly walk to the door. Who the hell would come by in the middle of the day? I'm still in my underwear, so I squint and look through the peephole. Fuck! I open the door, knowing that it could be a big mistake.

"Hey", tell her squinting at the sunlight.

"Hey.....I just, um......can I come in?", she ask pointing inside. I just walk back to the couch and she follows. I extend my arm towards the couch and she takes a seat. 

"You want a beer......soda?", I yell walking into the kitchen.

"It's a little early for beer isn't it?", she yells back giggling.

"Not in this household", I tell her handing her a diet coke.

"Thank God for your sister", she laughs taking the coke and popping the top. I nervously sit next to her. God, I dont even remember her name. We just sit in silence for a moment, only interrupted by the sounds of 'I'll take Of Mice and Women for a thousand, Alex' coming from the t.v. I sip on a bottle of Gatorade and she daintily sips on her sugar-free, calorie-free, flavor-free diet coke. How the hell does Mia down that stuff? I fix my eyes on the screen. I cant look at her. I dont know what I'll do. The only times I've ever been alone with this woman, we ended up fucking like bunnies, and I, for the first time, dont want that to happen again. I take a deep nervous breath in. Why is she here? They say they dont, but in the end they always want more.......more than just sex. She knew I had a girlfriend. I knew I had a girlfriend. I told myself it would just be a one time thing, but then she just kept coming around, and it turned into a 2 time, then 3, 4, and 5 time thing. I wasnt drunk. I knew exactly what I was doing. Why? Why was I so stupid? For this girl whose name I never cared to learn, I fucked up the best thing that has ever happened to me. I close my eyes and slump down into the couch, pissed at my actions, my raging libido. I hear her slurp her coke, again. What even attracted me to her. Yeah she's gorgeous, but....... My thoughts are interrupted by a cold sensation on my knee. She lifts her drink from my knee smiling.

"You really are miles away aren't you?", she smiles.

"Yeah, I guess.....I just got a lot on my mind", I look at her and shift nervously.

"Here, let me get rid of some of that tension...." she trails off leaning over and placing her hands on my shoulder. I quickly pull back and remove her hands.

"Look......um.....uh....." _What is her fucking name?!_

"Amber", she cuts in annoyed.

"Amber.....look, I dont know why your here, but......this is not gonna happen." she rolls her eyes. "I'm sorry, but.....", I begin again, but she cuts me off.

"Yeah whatever, Dom.......It's not like I was the only one wanting it, okay?.......just cause you got caught, you wanna just dump me by the wayside, well that's fine, and good luck on getting your girlfriend back after this.........cause that is the reason your making me leave right?........right?.......well I got news for you.....the damage has been done.....she aint coming back.......I mean, damn would you?", she rants picking up her purse and pounding her heels into the wooden floor on her way to the door. 

"Goodbye, you fucking pig", she smiles sarcastically getting into her car and screeching off leaving only a cloud of smoke, the horrid smell of burnt rubber, and her voice in my head asking 'would you?'. It took this woman, the cause of why my life as I know it hangs in the balance, to bring this whole thing into perspective. I close the door, only now truly realizing the catastrophic mistake I've made. I know that there is no way in hell I would forgive Letty if I caught her sleeping with another man. I would be beyond hurt, I would absolutely crushed, in every sense of the word. I've killed her. I know how much of a front she puts up about feeling insecure. The way she looks at all those other girls and the way they look at me, she pretends to be pissed, which she is, but more than that she's insecure. She gets angry at me because I know how it makes her feel, and I still let them pet and fawn all over me. I've crushed her. Oh God, I've got to get to her. I have to tell her.......I have to....................I've gotta see her. I run upstairs and slap on the first shirt and pair of pants I see, stumbling over everything in my path. I jump down the stairs 5 at a time and grab my keys off the coffee table. I jump in my car and imitate Amber. Sweating and highly nervous I shift into third trying to make it to her as quickly as possible.

****

Note to readers:

I just have to say that I'm not trying to make Letty come of as a little insecure cry baby. Believe me I'm her biggest fan, but I just had to say that I'm trying to give her depth. I'm tired of seeing her portrayed as either a raving bitch with no feeling and no empathy for anyone other than herself or as a frail little bitch that cries at the drop of a hat. I mean, dont get me wrong, Letty owns the word bitch, but it doesnt make her. Everyone has a weakness. Everyone has feelings, and I see myself in her character. Always a front, scared to let anyone in, because like everyone, she is immensely afraid of rejection. I'm not saying it's all a cover, because when pushed she will push back with a force never seen, but........I'm just frustrated that I cant get what I'm feeling out. I know what I want to say but, it aint coming up on my screen the way it looks in my mind. I think everyone can relate. I know where I want this fic to go but, I dont know if I can finish it. I just feel like.........I dont know......I need your comments on this one.....so help me out here.

~Andie


	8. Broken

Chapter 8

"Mia?!.......Mia?!", I yell through the shop. 

"Dom?...........hey brotha", Vince pats me on the back, face squinted.

"Where's Mia and Letty?", I ask him quickly.

"Mia's in the office.............and Letty just left.....", he trails off. I start towards the shop and stop when he tells me that Letty has left.

"She left?", I walk back towards him.

"Yeah, just a second ago.......I guess she wasnt feeling to good.......she came in from doing the luch run and ran outside......."

"She done the lunch run?", I interrupt him.

"Uh, yeah.....she came in crying and puking......and...."

"Fuck!!", I yell loudly causing Jesse to drop a wrench. She saw her, she saw the car...........she had to.

Vince gets closer to me. "Look, Dom....what the hell is going on around here?", he asks quietly. I put my head down.

"To tell you the truth V, I dont even know anymore", I tell him equally as quiet.

"What's going on with you and Let?", he asks outright. I sigh and rub my head. He looks around to see if anyone is in earshot of us and I can see Leon and Jess try their damndest to act like they aren't listening. 

"Come over later, okay?", I tell him looking him straight in the eye. I know I usually dont talk about my relationship with Letty to anyone, but I'm desperate, and he's my best friend. If I cant talk to him, who can I talk to? Plus I want some advice, some guidance, something. I need to make this right. I need for her to know.......to forgive me. I need her.

"Okay", he nods. I look at him for a moment, and he just sighs. I turn and walk into the office, where Mia sits, wiping her eyes with a tissue.

"What's wrong?", I ask quickly. She jumps in horror, then seeing that it's only me, her face drops. She begins to shake her head.

"Well, you, for one............what the hell is wrong with you, Dominic?", she asks standing up.

"Look, I know Letty probably.......", I start.

"Oh yeah.....she told me!", she cuts in.

"I'll explain later, but I need to know...."

"I dont think there's anything left to explain Dom..........I mean, you broke her heart.....a heart that was already fragile in the first place.......hell, I mean, your the one person she ever loved, and you had sex with someone else!.....THAT PRETTY MUCH SUMS IT UP!!!", she yells sarcastically then more angry. I drop my head. Her words cut me because I've thought them since the moment Letty walked out of my parents bedroom. I know everything she's saying is true, and no matter how many times I say I'm sorry, it'll never be enough. She sighs, and drops her head into her hands.

"Go home, Dom", she says softly shaking her head.

"I just need to talk to Letty......where is she?", I try to tell her looking down.

"Go home, Dom.....leave her alone, she doesnt want to talk to you right now......to tell you the truth, neither do I.............so just.....go. I'll be home soon.", she overlaps me. She sits back down at the desk sighing, obviously disgusted with me. As if it doesnt hurt enough that Letty cant stand me right now, neither does my own sister. I walk out of the office a broken man, and I know it's only gonna get worse. I let out a short laugh to keep myself from crying. The guys dont even notice me leaving. I'm getting that 'scum of the earth' feeling again for the millionth time this week. I'm so afraid that she'll never trust me again, and that she'll never love me or look at me the same way again. I'm so scared it's crippling. Now Im feeling that all to familiar weakness in my stomach, because I deserve everything that has and will come to me. I get in the car, and as soon as I close my door I rest my head on the top of the leather steering wheel and begin to cry. It's the only thing I can do. I cant get mad, because I brought it upon myself. I cant just say I'm sorry, and have it all disappear. I'm past angry, but even if I weren't who, would I let it out on?.......myself?........cause that's who's fault it is. I just cry, not sobbing, no sounds.  I finally wipe my eyes, felling sorry for myself, and crank the car. I drive home and pass Letty's car in her driveway. I dont even want to think about it. I walk slowly into the house like a dog with his tail tucked between his legs. I mope around and watch countless numbers of Howard Stern reruns until Mia gets home at around nine. She comes in and throws her purse down on the table in the front hall. She goes straight to the kitchen without a word. From my seat on the couch I can hear the pots, spoons and oven turn on. She cooks dinner in record time and yells out to me.

"It's done!"

I get up and turn off the t.v. I walk in and try to smile at her but she wont even look at me. I sit down, knowing that this is gonna be the longest meal we've ever eaten. She puts out our plates heaping with stuffed rigatoni. We bow our heads and she says a blessing, that goes as follows:

"Our father, we ask that you bless this food for the nourishment of our bodies. We thank you for the bounty before us, and we also ask that you continue to watch over and bless us........even those of us who have screwed up royally. May you forgive us, Lord, of our sins..........all our sins, help and guide us to be better to one another, and help us, Lord, to think about how our actions and words will effect those around us.........In Jesus' name we pray, Amen."

I open my eyes and look at her. She just begins to eat, never once meeting my eyes with hers.

"Amen", I say. I begin to eat. I haven't eaten anything all day. I lied and told Mia I did. The thing is, I'm not even hungry. I just pick the stuffing out of the pasta, then I put it back, then I take it out again and draw Letty's name in the mush. I'm such a fucking idiot. 

"That's the under statement of the year", I mumble, sarcastically, to myself out loud. I'm looking down at my plate, but I can hear Mia pause from eating. The last time Mia was this pissed at me was when I put bleach in her shampoo. I was fifteen. She didnt talk to me for a week, and she told my girlfriend of the moment that I still wet the bed. It wasnt true, but we went another week without talking. I hear her fork hit the plate, so I look up. She gets up, turns the faucet on, and puts her plate in the sink. I look back down. I hear her turn the faucet off, and walk over to the stove. 

"Are you gonna eat some more?", she asks. I shake my head, so she grabs the pan and puts it in the fridge. I continue to push my food around, shoveling small bites into my mouth every now and then. She starts to walk out, but then stops, sighs hard, and turns back towards me. I dont look up.

"I'm not mad at you.........I'm upset with you and........disappointed ain't a strong enough word, but I am not mad at you Dom.........I just dont understand it........and I'm frustrated. I dont want to deal with it right now, cause I gotta work the market tomorrow, and I need to study, the races Saturday, the house still needs cleaning.......but we **will** talk about this tomorrow when where both rested and whatever.....okay?"

I look up at her and nod. She walks towards me.

"Goodnight, I love you", she whispers as she kisses the top of my head.

"Love you too", I whisper back. She's not mad at me. She walks out of the kitchen and upstairs. She's not mad at me. I know she's upset and disappointed, but she's not mad, and that's a start. I knew she would say something before she left the  kitchen, but I didnt know what. My family has always had this thing about not going to bed angry and always saying I love you. Ma' even used to make us do it when we were young. I dump my plate and place it in the sink. I look up at the clock on my way into the living room. 10:30. Vince should be here soon. I sit back down and channel surf. I land on some Nascar race on ESPN2. Just as the cars hit the 60th lap. There's a knock at the door. Now I'm pretty sure it's Vince, but I look through the peephole just in case Amber came back for more choice words. I breath a sigh of relief and let Vince in.

"What the hell's with the peephole, man?........you expecting somebody else?", he asks walking into the living room and taking a seat on the couch. He looks at the t.v. screen as I close the door and join him.

"Maybe we should go legit.....you know, do that", he says pointing to the t.v. We both smile and shake our heads. We joke about going straight all the time, hell we even do legal dragging in Palmdale sometimes, but we always come back to the streets. I get up and grab us some beers. I bring the whole case with me back to the couch. When it's Vince and me, we dont worry about em' getting warm. They'll be long gone before that can happen. We just sit for a minute watching t.v., drinking. After about 15 minutes and 3 Coronas, I break the silence.

"I cheated on her", I say simply. He looks at me, and I take a swig from my bottle. 

"I figured......what else, short of food poisoning, would make her that sick......and upset, the only person on earth that could make Letty Santiago cry. Way to go, brotha", he picks up another beer and tips it at me.

"I know", I tell him.

"Your groove has officially been fucked up", he states matter-of-factly.

"I know", I tell him again, grabbing another beer. We sit again in silence, comfortable silence, drinking watching t.v., like always.

"So what cha gonna do now?", he asks lighting the cigarette hanging from his mouth. He hands me one, I light it, take a long draw, and blow out.

"The only thing I can do...........apologize until my lips fall off, and wait", I tell him.

"You think that'll do it?"

"No, but......what else can I do?......she probably wont even talk to me after what happen today?"

"After what happen today?"

"The girl she caught me with.......came over today, and I think Letty saw the car while she was doing the lunch run, and figured I was still......you know......."

"Oh......so that's what that was about...........man she was tore up over that today, you should've seen her......she was ballin' and....."

"Vince", I stop him. He closes his mouth and puts out his cigarette.

"So she was really upset?", I ask not really wanting to hear the answer.

"Oh, yeah, she was pitiful, I felt so fucking bad for her........never seen Letty like that before............it was............bad", he nods sipping his beer. I feel a sharp pain in my chest at the thought of Letty crying. Man, I fucked up.

"I think your best bet would be talking to her about being friends........and seeing how that goes, cause yall ain't gettin' back together anytime soon", he looks at me. I nod. That's what I needed. No judgment, no telling me all the crap I already know, just some advice, logical, no bullshit advice. I can always trust him for that. 

"Well, look man, I gotta go, alright?", he stands throwing away empty bottles.

"Yeah, thanks V", we touch knuckles then hug.

"Always, bro......hey you gonna show your pretty ass at the garage tomorrow like all us other working stiffs?", he ask on his way out the door. 

"Yeah", I smile standing on the porch. He gets in his car and rides off. I go back inside. I turn off the t.v. and head up to bed, agian, without Letty. This bed has never felt so lonely, and this room has never been so messy. I strip down and crawl under the sheets thinking about how the hell I'm gonna convince Letty to still be friends with me.

*Folks, I must say that I do not, under any circumstances, condone driving while under the influence of any substance. I was almost killed from a head on collision in Sept. of 2001(all praise be to God and his angels) by a prick who was fucked up on muscle relaxers. This is a work of fiction, please remember that. I know that I'm coming off as uptight, and I know that probably none of you are stupid enough to try that shit, but I dont take chances when it comes to stuff like this. Be safe, and tell your friends to be safe, cause if you fuck up, there aint no coming back. Thank you for letting me get that out there. I wont take up anymore of your time. Oh and thanks a million to everyone's feedback. I was totally inspired. I needed that. Oh and I am a girl, for those of you that were wondering. And please let me know if these little editorial comments I write at the end of chapters piss you off or annoy you. Thanks! Please review!

                                                                                         ~Andie


	9. Trespassing

Chapter 9  
  
  
  
"Ok.........calm down...........everything's gonna be okay..........everything's gonna be okay," I chant to myself. I breathe deeply again right before I pass by his house. The car is gone.  
  
"I guess it was a quickie," I mumble out loud. I don't want to think about it. I drive right pass my house, not knowing where I'm going. I just don't wanna be around anyone right now. I have to be alone. I don't want to unleash my bitterness on anyone else. Yes, I'm at that point now. First there was hurt, followed by anger, then hurt again mixed with anger, now I'm just bitter. I hit the steering wheel out of frustration as I pull into the beach parking lot. I get out. I take off my boots and throw them back in the car along with my socks. I walk out onto the beach. I didn't realize how long I had been driving. The sun is already setting. I sit down. I've lived here for sixteen years and I've never watched the sun set. I sit back and take it all in. The large glowing sphere illuminates the water for the final moments of the day. The most beautiful orange and purple pigments begin to blend into the horizon. A breeze blows in off the Pacific and stings my eyes, but I fight to keep them open. I don't want to miss a second of this. I hold on to the sight of the sun as everything around it blurs. The water ripples at various points; the foam capped waves roll in. It's almost as if everything holds its breath as the sun finally dips below the horizon and out of sight. The birds silence their cries. I hold my breath and close my eyes. I begin to cry at the grace of it all. I'm realizing that everything is so much bigger than me. My mother always told me that there is a reason for everything. God has a plan, and He'll never put more on you than you can bear. Although you feel like you can't go on, you can. All you have to do is try.  
  
"All I have to do is try," I tell myself out loud. I don't need him. I want him, but I don't need him. He doesn't make me.  
  
"He doesn't make you, Letty," I repeat out loud. It's his loss. He needs to know that. He needs me......I don't need him.  
  
"Yes I do," I finally confess to myself out loud. No matter how much I try to convince myself, the truth is I do need him. We need each other. We complete each other. It's times like this when I wish I actually smoked. I tried it once in Jr. High but it felt like my lungs were gonna explode, and Dom would never let me do it again. It was the same thing with racing. After some fighting, fussing, and lovemaking he finally agreed to let me do it, but not without a detailed lecture on safety first. He made me promise that if I ever got hurt in any way that I would quit. He also made me promise that if something felt wrong, I had to pull out, no matter what. That one was hard for me because I had to win, but I promised. He did show that he cared. His eyes may have wandered but I knew he was mine. If he was talking to someone, man, woman, or child, and I came up, his attention immediately turned to me. I loved that. I love him. God, we were good together. Our bodies fit perfectly. We understood each other without words. Now all that is gone. Gone because he had to get off. Gone because I wasn't enough anymore. "Shit!" I yell wiping my eyes. I'm so fucking tired of crying.  
  
"That's pretty harsh language for the birds." A voice startles me behind. I quickly finish wiping my eyes and harden my face.  
  
"I mean I know they can be pests, but they're good at heart." He walks in front of me smiling. He's about as tall as Jess. I think he has brown hair but I don't look at him. I continue to stare into the ocean, hoping he'll get the message and leave. He just stands there with this goofy grin on his face. He puts out his hand.  
  
"Hi, I'm Troy."  
  
"Yeah, where's Helen?" I retort sarcastically, still not looking at him.  
  
"She speaks," he says surprised. Come on Let, you don't have to be mad at the entire world.  
  
"Letty," I shake his hand giving in.  
  
"I.....uh...don't mean to bother you, but um.....this is private property," he tells me looking around.  
  
"Yeah, right," I tell him.  
  
"I'm serious.....my family owns this stretch of beach." Shit. I did walk down kinda far. I look around and notice that there are no lifeguard stands or buoys in the water. My car is parked at least a mile and a half down. Damn, just what I need....a trespassing ticket. I get up.  
  
"Sorry......I didn't know," I try to tell him.  
  
"Oh, it's okay. I thought you were the maid's daughter or something."  
  
"Well, I'm not," I tell him brushing sand off of me. I start to walk away.  
  
"You don't have to leave," he yells to me.  
  
"Actually, I do.....I gotta get home, but thanks anyway," I yell back with the wind blowing in my eyes. There's a storm coming in.  
  
"Okay.....come back any time....," he yells. I wave back and nod my head as I run to my car. The wind is really picking up. I jump in just in time to see the first raindrop hit my windshield. I bet it's not even raining in the city. With my luck, by the time I get home it will be. It's ten already by my radio. I begin driving. The wind is blowing the rain across the roads, but it's dying down. The rain gets fatter and plops down on my windshield. The wind is no longer blowing, just a steady downpour. I really was driving for a long time, because when I pull into my driveway it's already 11:30. I turn the car off, open the door, and then lock them back in one swift motion before running to the porch. I fish my pocket for my keys. No way......there's no way I left them.......in the car. I cannot believe I locked my keys in my fucking car. What the hell? I peer into the living room through the break in the curtains covering the window. All lights are off. Great. She's in her room. There is no way on earth she is gonna hear me knocking from upstairs. My mom and me are both heavy sleepers. You could run a heard of elephants through the middle of our house at night and we wouldn't flinch.  
  
"Shit!" I yell out loud. We never unlock our windows, so that's out of the question. I sit down in one of those flimsy plastic chairs that everyone in America owns that has been on our porch for ages. I put my head in my hands and wipe the moisture back off my face into my hair. I then ring out my soggy hair and clothes and return back to my head-in-hands position. I reluctantly look over to the Toretto's knowing that that is the only solution to my problem. I mean I would go to Jess's or V's but my keys are in the car. I pick my soaked body up and I walk down the road to their house. The rain hitting my eyelashes causes me to squint my eyes and blink frequently. I walk up the steps onto the porch, and wipe my dripping face again. I reach up to knock but stop myself. What if Dom answers? What do I do then? I finally knock on the door praying to God that Mia is still awake. I shiver from a slight breeze hitting my drenched body. After a moment no one answers. I knock again and wait. Still no answer. I sigh and roll my eyes, frustrated. Tonight, they would decide to go to bed early. I begin to stalk away. I get to the next to the last step, when I hear the screen door creak open. My heart stands still and I stop dead in my tracks.  
  
"Letty?" that all to familiar gruff voice asks from behind me, confused.  
  
"You couldn't let Mia answer the door this one time?" I whisper towards the heavens right before I turn around to face Dom for the first time since we broke up. It's gonna be a long night.  
  
  
  
  
  
There it is. Feast and be merry! Love you kids. Check out my new fic. = ) 


	10. Scene of the crime

Chapter 10  
  
  
  
  
  
I walk back up to the porch. I'm shaking out of nervousness and cold. I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out.  
  
"What's wrong.......are you okay?" Dom asks concerned.  
  
"I locked my keys in my car," I finally say. "I......," I start again.  
  
"Come in," Dom cuts me off motioning me inside. He squints out of confusion as I walk in past him. He was definitely asleep. Well, maybe not asleep, but in bed. He's only wearing a pair of white boxer briefs. I stand dripping wet in the front hall shivering as I hear the front door close.  
  
"Wait here," he tells me quietly as he bounds up the stairs. I stand, cold, as the picture of Mia, him, and me catches my eye again. I pick it up, remembering the night I left. I quickly set it back in its place as I hear him coming down the stairs. I turn to him and he silently wraps a big, white towel around me. He stands only close enough to get it around me. He backs away slightly as soon as he wraps me in it. I cling to the towel for warmth. I push the loose wet hairs that are clinging to my face back and we stand in an awkward silence.  
  
"I just need to get my set of spare keys from your room," I tell him looking him in the eye only for a moment before breaking my gaze. He nods, and I begin to climb the stairs. All the memories of that night begin to haunt me. I cling to the towel harder. I walk into his room and take a deep breath. I miss his smell. It's a mixture of motor oil, of course, cologne, peppermint, and the cinnamon candles Mia put in his room. It's intoxicating. The combination may not sound inviting, but it's him, and it's so soothing. On his side of the bed, the covers are folded back like the page you don't want to lose of a book you're reading. On my side........where my side used to be, the covers are untouched. He's still hoping I'll come back.........hell, I'm still hoping I'll come back. I walk over to his nightstand and run my fingers across my favorite picture of us. Mia took it one year while we were on vacation in Vegas. The entire team went to Vegas for a week. While we were there, we went out to the desert to go stargazing. The black and white photo is of me laying in Dom's lap. My eyes were closed and my head was laying on his chest facing the camera. Dom was kissing the top of my head with his eyes closed, also. We were laying together in a lawn chair. It just reminds me of how we could yell and fuss at each other everyday, but still know that it was all out of love. We put other couples to shame. We loved each other so much that it hurt sometimes. Most people can't understand that. They can't even wrap their minds around the concept of loving someone to the extent that it actually causes you pain. Pain to be apart.....pain to be together. It was...........it's that intense with Dom. It's like we both have to have everything. 'All or nothing'. We're both like that. Anything and everything that means something to us we're totally passionate about. Cars...........family.......the team........each other. We put everything we have into this stuff, so when something falls apart............something you've loved and worked for all your life...........it feels like you could just roll over and die. Even though you still have your other passions that are just as important, you just can't get past the feeling. This is how I know that Dom is downstairs debating on why I came over. He doesn't want to come up while I'm still in his room, because it'll be too painful to watch me leave again. He's just gonna stand there and pace the front hall in anticipation and agony until I reappear. I hate doing this to him. I hate coming over here and getting his hopes up. Yeah he deserves whatever is coming to him, but not like this. I quickly walk over to his closet and stand on my tiptoes to reach the top shelf. I run my hand along the side of the shelf and retrieve my extra set of keys. I close the closet doors, and I look around one last time. I quietly exit his room without closing the door. The squeak alone would wake everyone within ten blocks. I gingerly walk down the steps to find Dom doing exactly as I predicted. He unfolds his arms and stops pacing as I stand on the bottom step.  
  
"You find 'em?" he asks, his voice low but soft. I nod while holding up the keys.  
  
"Sorry I woke you," I whisper.  
  
"I wasn't sleepin'," he tells me looking up then back to me. I nod again.  
  
"Well, thanks," I whisper as I walk towards the door. He walks in front of me and opens the door for me. I resist the urge to kiss him deeply then slap him. I walk out the door and run all the way from their porch to mine. With the rain still pouring, washing away all the dirt, washing away the day, I walk into my house, hoping for a brighter day, hoping for a rainbow tomorrow.  
  
  
  
I know this was a short one, but I'll try to post at least a chapter every two days. Let me know your thoughts so far. How you feel.....what you think should've happen.......whatever. More later!!  
  
~Andie 


	11. One day at a time

Chapter 11  
  
  
  
I get up tired, again. I swear I haven't had a decent night's sleep in a week. At least there were no bouts of vomiting last night. I've never had a weak stomach, but then again, I've never been this depressed either. I take a shower and go down to have breakfast with Mia. It's Saturday morning and although I don't have to work, there's no way I'm spending another day sitting at home. I'll be at the garage alone today. Vince said he might come by, but we rarely ever converse in the garage. This will be good for me. I can work all day, and go to the races tonight. I can keep myself busy, and hopefully actually enjoy the races. I sit down at the table. Mia smiles at me. I smile back. "Sleep well?" she asks concerned, probably seeing the dark circles under my eyes that grow darker and larger every morning. I shrug as she pulls a carton of milk from the fridge and walks back to the table. She pours the milk over my cereal as I yawn. "Thanks," I tell her as I begin to methodically eat the corn flakes, one dripping spoonful at a time. She also begins to eat the hot breakfast she has prepared for herself. I can feel her eyes on me. I look up and meet her gaze. "Wha?" I ask, my mouth full of flakes. She looks at me with her face scrunched in confusion. I swallow. "What is it, Mia?" I push my soggy cereal around. She continues to look at me for a moment and hesitates before speaking. "Do you still wanna talk about..........you know?" she asks reluctantly. She can tell that I really don't feel like divulging the story again, but I want her to know my side. I take another bite from my bowl while she waits for me to answer her. She starts back eating as I tell her exactly what happen the night Letty left. She nods along the way, because she knows most of it. The end of the story is last night. I tell her about Letty coming over to get her keys. When I finish she sits back in her chair and sighs. "So......why, Dom?..........why?...........what was so horrible between you.........that you had to go to another woman?" she asks me, not angry, but truly confused. I shake my head. "In all honesty, Mia.........I don't know," I tell her simply. She looks into my eyes and sighs again. She knows that I'm telling the truth. She knows that I'm not trying to weasel my way out of the blame. I guess that's why this all hurts so much............cause I am the blame. This whole situation is no one's fault but my own. One person caused me all my pain.............me. "So what are you gonna do now?" she asks softly, almost felling sorry for me. I get up, place my bowl in the sink, and sit back down at the table. "Go to the garage," I tell her before taking a sip of orange juice. "That's not what I mean........." she sighs. "I know what you mean, Mia," I stop her. "But that's what I'm gonna do..............before all this happened, I could tell you what I'd be doing years from now, because I knew, no matter what.......I would be with Letty..............But now, I don't know anything anymore, besides the fact that nothing's permanent. I can't see past today, Mia..............and today I'm gonna go to the garage, and tonight we're gonna go to the races," I tell her looking her in the eye. I can see her eyes glazing over with wetness. She's always been a very emotional person. She nods. I get up and kiss her on the top of her head before leaving the kitchen. Soon after, I hear her go back to eating breakfast. I wanted to tell her how sorry I am for screwing up..........for hurting her best friend, for making things awkward between her and Letty now. I pick my keys up and grip them tightly as I walk out to my car. I get in and start the engine, hesitating before putting it in reverse. I pull out of the driveway and moments later I'm at the garage. I get out and unlock the bay doors. I slide them up and close them behind me as I walk in. I would hate for someone to see them and think we were open today. I walk in and get started on the Acura that came in the other day. I walk over to see it sitting, gutted. The seats to be installed are sitting right next to it. I'm guessing Leon started ripping and left before putting them in. Either way, it'll get done today. I take off my jacket and lay it in the office. I walk back with my footsteps echoing throughout the empty space. This is how I've been felling the last few days. Empty...alone. I only recently started eating again. My knees have been becoming weak for some odd reason. My chest tightens every time I think of Letty. My throat constricts; my eyes burn. I'm beginning to think I have some sort of medical condition. God, help me.......I need her. I wish she knew how much I needed her. I wish she knew. 


	12. My Mia

Chapter 12  
  
  
  
I wake up and walk out onto the porch. The streets are still glistening from last night, and the air still smells of fresh rain. I look over to the Toretto's and see that Dom's car is gone. I begin to walk over in hopes to talk to Mia. I get to the door and place my hand on the knob. I retract it suddenly remembering that I don't live here anymore, and knock instead. I hear something stir behind the solid oak door and then a voice sounds.  
  
"Who is it?" she yells, trying to make her voice sound threatening. Mia's voice couldn't scare a fly, no matter how hard she tried.  
  
"It's me Mia," I tell her smiling and rolling my eyes. She unlocks all 5 of the locks on the door and finally opens it.  
  
"Why didn't you just come in?" she asks smiling. I shrug.  
  
"I don't know....I guess cause I don't live here," I half smile back, feeling sad, cause I wish I did still live here. I walk into the living room, plop down on the couch, and turn on the TV, like I never left. Mia scurries back to the kitchen and sits down at the table, dressed in a pink and purple robe.  
  
"You want some breakfast?" she yells to me.  
  
"Naw, I'm good," I yell back flipping through channels. I land on 'A Wedding Story' on TLC. The couple looks so happy, so content. They're in that moment, and in that moment nothing matters to them but being together. They look into each other's eyes for the last seconds of the show. You can almost feel how happy they are. Despite the 200 guests around them, they're alone, together, happy, only seeing each other. I hear footsteps coming from the kitchen, and I quickly flip to the next channel. Mia walks into the living room and then right back out on her way upstairs. A half an hour later she comes back down and sits next to me on the couch. She's dressed in a white baby-tee and jeans. Her hair up in a towel. I look at her and shake my head.  
  
"What?" she asks confused.  
  
"All that, just to sit and talk with me?" I say sarcastically, gesturing to her transformation. She playfully pinches me on the arm and I laugh at her attempt to inflict pain upon me. We sit for a moment laughing then go back to watching T.V.  
  
"So are you feeling better?" she asks hopefully.  
  
"I am now," I nod sincerely, smiling at her, and then looking back at the T.V.  
  
"Good enough to..........go to the races tonight?" she draws out the first part, then quickly spits out the latter. I can feel her pretty little scrunched up face pleading for a yes, as I stare at the TV I drop my head.  
  
"I don't know, Mia," I sigh.  
  
"Oh come on, Let.......It'll be fun......hang out with the team?..........check out some new rides?" she hops up onto her knees and gets closer to me as I flip the TV., trying not to listen to her. It would be nice to see some new cars, check out some competition.  
  
"Now that you're on the market.......we can check out some hot guys," her voice goes up at the end of the sentence. I can't help but smile at her persuasion techniques. She smiles in return, and starts hopping a little on her knees. I try my damndest to suppress my smile.  
  
"Mia, I still don't think this is a good idea," I struggle through a clenched jaw that's trying to conceal my laughter. I can feel her face drop as she rises to her feet and stands. I know she's pouting and waiting for me to say yes, but I hold out a little longer. I'm definitely gonna go, but not for any of the reasons Mia listed. I'm gonna go because I miss hanging out with her. I miss sitting on the hood of one of the team cars, and whispering mean things about all the girls trying to damn hard to be seen. We would always just talk about them and laugh at their horribly tacky, trashy outfits. We seemed to be the only chicks, night after night, with any taste or respect for ourselves. I miss hugging her after a race that I've won, or even in some cases, lost. She would always hug me and whisper in my ear how proud she was of me. That meant a lot to me, because this is not a woman's sport. Street racing doesn't really have rules and regulations, henceforth the illegal nature. Guys don't like being beat, especially being beat by a girl. Some accept me, most just look over me. When I win, I don't get the cheering crowd gathering around me like Dom. I get my hug from Mia, and it's all I need. My Mia, my sister.  
  
"You know......I did hear that one of Hector's buddies is gonna try and unload his RXS-S tonight........not to the highest bidder, but to the best racer....." she trails off nonchalantly. She knew that would sell me. I've been trying to get at that Acura since I saw it roll into the garage months ago. It's black with a Wings West custom paint job, Mugen side skirts, front bumper, molded rear valence panel, and a wing. Just the thought causes me to salivate. The only thing standing in my way was money, but now I can just kick his ass and have it for free. She walks off into the kitchen, innocently, as I finally give in.  
  
"What time?" I sigh. With those two words, Mia, dashes out of the kitchen in a fit of giggles mixed with high-pitched squealing. She smacks into me and grabs me in a hug. My head is buried in her hair, and I can't breathe, due to the tight hold she's got on me. She laughs loudly while hugging me, and I laugh back at the situation. She sighs happily and leans back from me.  
  
"This is gonna be so much fun!" she tells me, with a huge grin plastered on her face. I nod, reluctantly, smiling. I love to see her happy. It reminds me of when we were young. I would come over and see her in the back yard, alone, playing alone with a butterfly or a bottle of bubbles, perfectly content, happy. She looks so beautiful, so innocent when she's truly happy.  
  
"Probably gonna start around 2 or 3, so........until then we can..........ohh...." she hops up and down with her mouth in an "O" shape.  
  
"We can spend the whole day together!...........Shop.......and for you, we go to the beach," she laughs. She knows that I'm not really a big shopper. I mean, I see something I like, I get it, but shopping with Mia is a whole new ballgame. It's like a 5K-endurance marathon or something. I wince at her and suck air in through closed teeth.  
  
"Or we can just go to the beach," she says cheerfully.  
  
"Now you're talking," I smile quickly and nod as I walk into the kitchen. I reach into the fridge and search for anything cold, wet, and non-diet.  
  
"But..." she yells and trails off as I walk back into the living room.  
  
"But?...." I ask her slowly popping the top of my coke.  
  
"But....we have to go by the garage first to pick up my rose tinted shades," she says wincing, for some reason.  
  
"Okay," I say slowly, laughing.  
  
"No big deal, Mia, I don't mind going to the shop," I try to reassure her and get that look off her face. Then, it hits me. Of course he's at the shop. Where else would he be? Although, I'm not completely over him, I do still want to be close. I guess it'll be nice to see him under decent circumstances.  
  
"Oh.......Dom's there.......It's okay Mia, I kinda actually wouldn't mind seeing him, I miss him," I sit down on the couch slurping my coke.  
  
"You do?" she asks bewildered.  
  
"Well, duh.............he's been like my right arm for the past 5 years. We have to learn to be around each other, so why not start today.......I mean he is gonna be at the races tonight, isn't he?" She nods. "Well there ya go," I smile at her, trying to conceal my nervousness at the idea of seeing Dom today.  
  
"Well I'm gonna go get my suit.......you need one?" she asks from the bottom step.  
  
"Uh, yeah......I don't even think I have one at home."  
  
"K." She disappears upstairs and comes down a few minutes later with one bikini on and one in hand. She throws it in my lap and I slowly raise my eyes to meet hers. I give that "hell no" look.  
  
"Oh come on Let......live a little," she smiles.  
  
"Mia, I'm all for living, but I'm not about to but this eye patch on and have all my 'assets' on display.......no offense."  
  
"None taken..........Letty you have great 'assets'........." she laughs, causing me to laugh also.  
  
"Mia...............no way..........Not everyone can pull these damn things off like you can," I tell her eyeing the small pieces of fabric as I hold them up in front of me.  
  
"Letty, you have an amazing body........besides I can't find the one- piece," she pleads. I look at the swimwear in question one more time. I'm gonna have to be really careful coming in and out of the water. I sigh long and hard.  
  
"I swear Mia, if this thing falls off......" I play threaten her. She smiles.  
  
"You're gonna look so hot!" she exclaims as I walk past her to the downstairs bathroom. I slip on the bikini and look in the mirror. I don't look half bad. I try to position the 2 triangle patches of cloth in a manner that will get the most coverage. I double knot all the ties and try to pull the bottom down over as much of my ass as possible. No one has ever seen this much of my skin besides Dom. It feels weird. Like, I'm betraying him or something. I shake the thoughts from my head and try to remind myself how fun it's gonna be at the beach. I come out and Mia gives me a look over before breaking into a ridiculous grin. I walk out sulking.  
  
"Not a word," I tell her, pointing my index finger in her direction.  
  
"I wasn't gonna say anything," she says innocently, grinning from ear to ear. She hands me a beach towel and I wrap it around my waist. I slip into some flip-flops sitting in the hall and Mia wraps a towel around herself also. We walk out to the car in the mid-day heat. The beach is gonna be packed, I just know it. I hate when it's crowded and overflowing with screaming kids, obese people in small swimsuits, and old hairy Speedo-clad men. I guess I'll deal though. I mean, at least I'll be at the beach. We hop in that car and ride over to DTA. My stomach turns a little in anticipation. I look over at Mia as we park.  
  
"You sure this is okay?..........You can stay in the car if you want...........I'll only be a...." she begins.  
  
  
  
"I'm sure, Mia," I stop her. She smiles at me and gets out. I linger in the car for a moment after she leaves with my hand on the door handle.  
  
"I'm sure," I whisper to myself, trying to convince my heart, that I was ready to see Dom again, under better circumstances. 


	13. Working things out

Chapter 13  
  
I hate paper work. It's like the homework you have to finish before you can go out to play. I sit sulking in the office while Vince, who just came in, gets to tune up his car. He comes in on weekends to work on his car, not other people's. These are the only times we have to actually do our cars. Jesse will be in next Saturday, and Leon the Saturday after that. Then, Letty will follow suit, and I work on mine when I'm done at the end of each day. I sit here in the office, my entire body covered in grease, dirt, and smut, except my hands, typing up receipts and invoices for record. Although, I've become quite good at typing, my hands are still too big to be faster. As I curse my appendages, I'm reminded why Mia does all the office work. I hear the bay doors open in the garage and turn around to face the office door in my chair. Mia walks in dressed in one of the many bathing suit tops I don't approve of, and a towel wrapped around her waist.....thank God. I watch Vince's jaw drop as she nonchalantly waves at him while walking towards the office. I shake my head.  
  
"Hey," she waves.  
  
"Hey," I wave back turning back around to the desk.  
  
"I just came to get......" she trails off leaning over the desk searching for something.  
  
"Mah shades," she smiles picking up a pair of sunglasses off the desk and putting them on.  
  
"Hey, since you're here, can you take a look at this and tell me what I'm doing wrong?" I ask her pointing to the computer. She sighs, as I give her my best 'pitiful' face and pleading eyes. She finally sits down on my lap and grabs the mouse. She starts clicking and typing at a furious speed as I watch the screen in amazement.  
  
"See this?" she asks pointing to a line of text on the screen.  
  
"Yeah," I nod.  
  
"Well when this comes up, you have to........" she starts, but is interrupted by yelling and whistling coming from the garage. I turn my head to check it out and to my complete surprise, it's Letty. I turn back to the computer trying not to let her know I saw her. My mind stops. Wait a second. Was she wearing a........? I jump out of my chair causing Mia to tumble to the ground. I look back out into the garage. She is. She's wearing a bikini top and a towel, almost identical to Mia's get-up. My heart pounds in my chest as I watch her talking to Vince, smiling. As I watch her everything seems to turn to slow motion. She throws her head back in laughter and her hair flows down her bare back. Her shoulders catch the small amount of sunlight in the garage. Her lips look fuller than I remember . Her almond colored skin seems to be glowing. The deep valley between her breasts catches my eye and I almost wish the top was smaller. God, I miss her body. I can't believe she actually left the house in that. I guess not having me around has made her more liberated. She even looks happier. I snap out of my dream-like state, when I feel a stinging slap land on my arm.  
  
"What the hell, Dom!?" Mia exclaims shaking her head and sitting down in my abandoned chair. My heart actually stops beating as Letty makes eye contact with me. Her face falls from laughter to a sincere smile. She waves looking into my eyes through the glass window. I wave back. She begins to walk towards me and my heart goes back to it's former rate of 6 billion beats per second, as I eye her curvy body swaying with each step.  
  
"Hey," she says softly.  
  
"Hey," I tell her not trying to be so obvious that I'm dying inside. I lick my lips, dried by my increased breathing.  
  
"Umm, can we talk?" she winces. Every time she asks that question, I leave the conversation feeling like shit. Given the fact that, I'm pretty much past rock bottom...........what the hell?  
  
"Sure," I tell her. I look at Mia, who is now staring back at us. We both glare at her until she finally gets the point.  
  
"Oh!.........Ohhhh...yeah, umm.....I'm gonna go......uh....talk to Vince about........um...something," she makes her exit closing the door behind us. Letty takes a seat on the old ragged couch in the office. I sit at the desk chair. We sit for a moment in silence as Letty looks around.  
  
"Are you actually doing office work?" she looks past me to the computer, laughing. I laugh at my attempt also.  
  
"Well, I was trying," I smile back. She gets up off the couch and stands beside me eying the computer screen.  
  
"Is this what Mia was helping you with?" she asks staring intently at the screen.  
  
"Yeah, she was trying to explain what this means," I tell her pointing at the same line of text.  
  
"She said something about........," I start, but before I can finish Letty leans over and starts pointing, clicking, and typing just as furiously as Mia. She stares intensely at the screen with her hair draping over the desk. Her deep eyes framed by her furrowed brow, seem miles away. I watch her as intensely as she watches the screen, only looking away when she looks away from the screen, for fear that she'll catch me. She looks down with her forehead wrinkled, and pushes my chair back, and me a little, with the back of her knee. She plops down in my lap without a second thought and continues to type, trying to explain to me what she's doing.  
  
"Mia showed me how to do this that summer I broke my leg, 'member?" she asks. I nod.  
  
"Well, what you have to do is.........enter all the figures then, save it all.....close it, then reopen it....." she tells me typing up the figures along the way, never taking her eyes fro the screen. She's just sitting in my lap, like it's no big deal. Her hair right here in my face, smelling like that shampoo she always uses. Some pink looking flowery garden smelling shampoo that I always had to pick up for her in Pasadena. I still have a half-full bottle of it in my shower. It smells so good. I even caught myself just sniffing the bottle this morning while I was showering. The beautiful flesh on her bare shoulders staring me right in the face. I breathe in deeply to take in her scent. I slowly let my gaze fall to her chest as she rambles on about something computer related. The two mounds heave with each breath she takes and I can only remember being able to touch them, to touch her. I sigh, in remembrance, almost mourning the lost love of my life, missing the way things used to be. I can't keep doing this to myself. I take my eyes off her, for fear of getting too 'excited' and for my heart's sake. I look back at the screen and she has put in all the figures and is finishing up.  
  
"So...that's pretty much it," she cranes her neck to face me. I nod as she rises from my lap, leaving the warm area where she once was, exposed to the air. I grab the mouse and close down the program, because she has just done all my work for me.  
  
"Thanks, Let.....now I can actually get to work in the garage," I tell her now facing her. She sits back on the couch. We sit for a moment, in an uncomfortable silence.  
  
"So....how have you been?" she asks hopefully. I don't have the strength to lie to her, but I muster up enough to keep her from seeing what a wreck I am without her.  
  
"Ok, I guess.......you know?" I tell her. She nods.  
  
"What about you?" I ask back.  
  
"I'm okay....better," she nods. She starts smiling which makes me smile.  
  
"You like it, don't you?" she laughs, looking down at her bathing suit. I laugh.  
  
"Yeah, I do actually.......It's uh.....It's nice," I smile, laughing with her.  
  
"It's Mia's," she tells me.  
  
"Yeah, I noticed," I smile. She looks down, and I know she's about to say something that's going to change my life...............again.  
  
"Look, Dom............the tension between us is so thick I can't even see straight.........I just...I don't want it to be like this anymore........as much as I may try to convince myself that I don't, I do miss you, I miss this....talking, laughing, just being............And as much as I want to forgive and forget.......I can't yet.........it still hurts too much........" she tells me looking off into the distance. I see a flash of pain run through her eyes, and though it hurts me to hear that she can't forgive me yet, I understand why.  
  
"I want us to be close.I don't want to walk on eggshells anymore........I'm tired of dwelling on it...and trying to figure out reasons why......It happened, I know that you're truly sorry.......and I accept it for that.......You and I both know, that we're meant to be together, and I know that this is not the end of us........and I hope that you don't want it to be the end of us.........." she rambles.  
  
"Of course I don't," I stop her. She leans forward on the edge of the couch as I listen to each word closely. She locks eyes with me as she speaks.  
  
"Three days ago, my life was changed within a matter of seconds. This is how much in love with you I am. Only three days, and I'm already dying to be back with you," she lets out a laugh as tears begin to fall from her eyes. My heart trembles in my chest as I resist the urge to fall to my knees in front of her and hold her. I just sit in my chair and let her finish.  
  
"We just have to start over, okay?" she sniffs wiping her eyes and regaining her composure.  
  
"We just start over.....and....we just see how that goes........so we're just friends for right now.....unattached, and we're gonna be friends for as long as it takes............" she sighs.  
  
"Okay?" she asks me, like I would actually say 'no'.  
  
"Okay," I nod and smile. She doesn't hate me, and she wants to be friends. I can definitely live with that. I smile even harder. I woke up this morning hating the world, and wishing I could just see Letty, and now we're actually back on speaking terms.....and not just speaking, but we're friends. The only way this day could get any better, is if she told me that she forgives me, but I'm more than grateful for what I have. She smiles back at me, and for the first time it's that smile I remember. The one I saw the day I came home from the pen, the one I saw when she won her first race, the one I saw after the first time we kissed. We both stand grinning like crazy. I look at her and immediately she knows what I want to do. She smiles and sighs. She looks up at me and walks towards me. She gives me a nod of approval and I immediately scoop her into a hug. I can't even explain what it feels like to just hug her. We stand and embrace for only seconds, but it feels like longer. We pull away and she walks out into the garage with me following behind her. She walks over to Mia and interlocks her arms in hers. I stand with them and Vince, who is grinning like an idiot.  
  
"Well, I guess we should be going," Mia nudges Letty.  
  
"You guys heading to the beach?" I ask casually.  
  
"Yeah, soak up some sun.........watch people try to surf.......guy watch...."she trails off, mumbling the last part under her breath. Letty elbows her and she smiles. I give her an 'eat shit' glare before walking over and kissing her on the cheek.  
  
"Be careful," I warn them dryly. They both smile as I walk back towards the office.  
  
"So, I'll see you at the races?" Letty yells to me. I turn back to face her.  
  
"You coming to the races?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm gonna win Carlito's RSX."  
  
"You're gonna win Carlito's RXS?" I repeat back smiling. She's always so confident. It's sexy and one of her many qualities that I admire.  
  
"Damn straight," she smiles back. I nod and walk towards the office.  
  
"Then I'll see you tonight," I yell back at them. I walk back into the office, smiling like an idiot. I get to see her again tonight. Now I'm convinced that this day couldn't get any better. 


	14. Balls and Bricks

Chapter 14  
  
We arrive at the beach, and just as I predicted, it's jam-packed. We get out in the hot sun and shield our eyes with a free hand as we scan for a open spot. We detect one right on the tide line, a little to the left of where we parked. I take a step out onto the sand and it sears my feet. A little, half-dressed girl runs over my burned feet with her screaming mother close behind. I nearly trip over them and Mia laughs at me. I give her a glare before continuing to walk to our spot before someone else claims it. We lay our blankets down, and Mia pulls out a book and some sunscreen. She hands the sunscreen to me. I put some on while looking around. Only in L.A. can you see five different families, all of different backgrounds and races, sitting right next to each other. I lay back and throw the sunscreen in Mia's direction, not looking to see wear it lands. I hear the smooth bottle make contact with a smack, on Mia's skin. Seconds later, I feel a shove on my arm. I just smile and slip on some shades. We just lay there, trying to relax, but all the commotion around us continues to get in the way. Children begging their parents to let them wade in the water. Couples arguing over where they're gonna have dinner. It's just not how I wanted to spend my day at the beach. I settle back in with the bright light beaming in through my eyelids. Suddenly, I remember the other day. I remember how I went too far down the beach. I sit up on my towel and look down the beach to my left. About a half-mile down, the crowd ends. I guess that's where the property starts and the public beach ends. He DID say to come back anytime. I bite my lip and think about it some more. I mean, why would he say that, to a complete stranger, if he didn't mean it? I was even being a total bitch and he was still nice. But, what if his parents or some security comes? Then Mia's words shoot through my mind.  
  
"Live a little, Let," I repeat softly, staring at the empty stretch of coastline that seems to be calling my name. What the hell? If something happens, we'll just wing it. I jump up and grab my towel, causing Mia to sit up.  
  
"Come on," I tell her never taking my eyes off the beautiful stretch. She just gets up with out even asking 'why'. I know she's game for whatever. We walk through all the people until we realize that we're alone.  
  
"What are we doing?" she asks smiling. I don't speak for a moment, trudging through the sand that sinks at every footstep. I turn to face her walking backwards.  
  
"Living," I tell her with a smirk. She grins back and continues to follow me. We finally get to the area I was at the other day. A flash of pain runs though me as I remember why I was there. I'm still glad we talked today, but it's always gonna hurt.......always. I push the thought out of my mind, intent on not getting back into my previous state of self-loathing. I take my towel and spread it out as Mia does the same. We lay back, taking in the bright sun. I start thinking about the races tonight and all the girls that are gonna be all over Dom. My stomach turns and nervousness sets in. I take a few deep breaths and try to get myself back in my "I can kick anyone's ass-No one messes with me-I'm gonna win-the world is mine" attitude. I try to gather back all the confidence that has seemed to just disappear these past few days. I take another deep breath and an amazing reassuring wave washes over me. I realize that I am here.....on the beach....with my sister, my Mia.........I'm gonna race tonight..........and Dom and I are speaking again. This is not the end of the world. I'm still alive, and it's about time I start realizing that. I'm okay, and things are already on their way to getting better. I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself and feeling like I can't control my life anymore. I'm in control. I've always been in control. I'm always gonna be in control. I determine what and who I am. I can sulk and be a crybaby about it, or I can deal. I choose the latter. It's not the end, Letty.......It's not the end......  
  
Before, I know it, I feel a hand on my arm, and I'm waking up. I didn't even know I fell asleep. I open my eyes, expecting the sun to bombard them with light. A tall figure is squatted next to me and the sun has disappeared below the horizon. I quickly reach over and shake Mia to get up before acknowledging the figure. I open my eyes wider trying to focus my eyes.  
  
"We meet again," he whispers. It's the guy. Troy, I think that's his name. I peer at him like a blind person seeing the ocean for the first time.  
  
"Hey," I smile sitting up. Mia does the same.  
  
"And, who is sleeping beauty number two?" he asks softly.  
  
"Umm...Troy.....It's Troy right?" He nods. "Yeah, Troy....Mia.....Mia....Troy." They shake hands.  
  
"You two know each other?" Mia asks rubbing her eyes. He smiles and for the first time, I get a good look at him. He has green eyes, soft, wavy, brown hair and teeth like a dentist. I actually think I just saw them gleam. I also notice how pink his lips are. They fit his mouth perfectly. He almost.....almost reminds me of that Andrew Keegan guy, the actor. Like, they could actually be far, far, far, far, far off relation. I blink hard to snap myself back into the situation.  
  
"Sorta.....um Troy.....I'm sorry........we should've asked first.....we'll just get going...." I stand a little to quickly and sorta stumble. Troy grabs my waist and stops me from falling.  
  
"Whoa....you okay?" he smiles. I look back at him.  
  
"Yeah," I say nervously, hypnotized by his sparkling eyes. What the hell? What is wrong with me? I can't believe I'm actually nervous around this guy I've only met twice in my entire life. I just got in the habit of not looking at other guys since I got with Dom.....which has been most of my life. Mia stands.  
  
"You guys don't have to leave," he says casually, grinning. He stands back form me and I can feel his eyes on me. I'm almost glad I wore this bathing suit. I'm not getting that creepy feeling I usually get when other guys look at me. I actually feel flattered and....well, sexy. I bite my lip unconsciously, and I'm at a lost on what to say. I can tell he's one of those laid back guys, that's cool with everyone.........one of those guys that stays with his high school sweet heart well after graduation.........one of those guys I used to wish Dom was. My breathing increases as I feel his eyes grinding holes in the side of my head. It's like I've never been around a cute guy before. What the hell is wrong with me?  
  
"Well, we should be getting home.........the guys are probably wondering why we're gone so long," I finally respond. Mia nudges me in the arm.  
  
"I'm sure they don't care," she cuts in grinning, looking at Troy like he's the last caramel apple at the carnival. I give her a look.  
  
"If it make you feel any better....I'll go to the car, call them, and let them know where we are," she says, and quickly walks off before I can respond. I look at Troy and we both laugh.  
  
"Friend of yours?" he ask grinning with those immaculate teeth.  
  
"Yeah, actually.....my best friend.....closest thing I'll ever have to a sister..." we both look at her running to the car.  
  
"A little....quirky....but she's mine," I smile as she waves back at us, reaching the car and getting inside. I lay my towel back down and sit. Troy sits next to me. We begin talking. We just started talking about the water. I ask him about is family and he tells me about his dad being a producer. He asks about mine and I tell him about my mom and the team. His eyes light up when he hears that we're street racers. He asks about our cars and listens intensely as I tell him about the modifications. He smiles the entire time. He's really easy to open up to. I mean I'm not telling him my life story, and I'm pretty sure he's not going to alert the police of our activities, but opening up..........about anything.......is new to me, and it's just not difficult with him. I tell him about myself and I find out a few things about him too. He's 21, and going to USC's film school. He tells me about all his friends get annoyed that he films everything. He tells me that the reason he took so long to come down was because he was filming us sleeping. I ask him 'why?', and he says that it was amazing to see the light from the setting sun play off our skin. He says the colors were perfect and the breeze was blowing our hair. Then he tells me it was also because it's not everyday that two beautiful women just lay out on the beach in front of your house. I softly punch him in the arm and he laughs. He tells me that he didn't want us to think that he's a perv for doing that, he just really thought we were amazingly beautiful just sleeping. I blush at that comment and he just smiles at me again softly. I tell him that it's his beach and that he could do whatever he wanted. He just nods and laughs some more. It's just really great to talk to someone new, not thinking about all my problems, just talking. We sit and talk forever before I start worrying that something happened to Mia. It's so dark now that we can't see the car. I get up and ask him if we can go find Mia. He tells me yeah, but he wants to go get a flashlight first. He unexpectedly grabs my hand and begins to lead me towards the two porch lights coming from his house, telling me to be careful where I step. Holding his hand feels weird. I know he's only doing it so that I don't trip or loose him in the darkness, but it makes me feel.........cared for.......or important enough for him to not want me to get hurt. We reach the house and it takes my breath away. He slips his sandals off and leaves the on the enormous porch/deck. I walk in the house looking up with my mouth wide open. It's huge. I can't even begin to describe it. It's like a museum or something. All the wide-open space is crazy. He leads me to the living room and flips on the enormous flat screen TV.  
  
"I'll be right back," he tells me handing me what looks like a palm pilot. I look at the little screen and figure out that it's a remote control. I take one look at all the buttons and options and decide that what's on right now will be just fine. He runs up the stairs case that I saw when we came in and runs back down seconds later.  
  
"That was quick," I remark. He smiles and turns the TV. back off. We head back outside with the flashlight in hand. We walk towards the public side of the beach and up to the parking lot. I spot Mia's car and Troy shines the light inside. I'm relieved when I see Mia's hands come up to shield her eyes. I walk to the car as she lets the window down.  
  
"You get lost?" I ask annoyed.  
  
"No.....I just had to make a few more phone calls," she tells me, with the phone to her ear.  
  
"Well, I got worried," I retort meanly. Her face drops.  
  
"Let, I'm sorry....I was just giving you guys time to talk....I'm..." she begins apologizing.  
  
"It's okay....I was just worried that's all," I soothe her, realizing how harsh I sounded.  
  
"Well, it was nice talking to you....thanks for....letting us trespass," I giggle facing Troy. He smiles.  
  
"Don't mention it....any time," he smiles.  
  
"And good luck tonight," he tilts his head to the side and smiles. He looks so cute like that.  
  
"Thanks," I smile back, getting in the passenger side of the car. Mia, now off the phone, cranks the car. Troy comes over to my window and squats beside the car.  
  
"I had fun.....and....umm.........if you don't mind....and if you're not involved with anyone.......I'd like to see you again?" he looks up at me wincing. Poor guy. I can't get into this with him. It's too early.......I'm still hurting, but he's a great guy and I don't want to just shoot him down.  
  
"Look, Troy.........you're a great guy....but.......I have a lot on my plate right now......so it wouldn't really be fair to start something, that I know I can't.......you know?" I look at him. I can see that he's crushed, and I hate myself for crushing him.  
  
"It's not that I don't want to, it's just that.........now's not the best time," I try to recover. His face gets a little happier.  
  
"Well, I just want to see you again......we don't have to start anything....just hang out.....you know?" he proposes. I sit for a minute looking at his hair blowing in the breeze. I take a deep breath in and smile.  
  
"Okay.....just to hang out, though," I tell him rolling my eyes a little. When did I become so easily persuaded?  
  
"Okay, when?" he asks grinning. I shake my head smiling. I can't believe I just agreed to see another guy. Dom's gonna freak. Oh my God, I haven't even thought about that. If Dom sees me with this guy, he'll definitely freak...........just like I did the night I caught him. A devious smile creeps across my face, as Mia bores a hole in the side of my head.  
  
"How about tonight?...........around three?" I ask as I can actually hear Mia's jaw hit the floorboard.  
  
"Great....where?" Troy nods. I pull out a pen and some paper from the glove compartment, and write down the address to the strip in the desert where we'll be racing tonight. He takes the paper and stares at it confused.  
  
"Just be there....tonight....at three....I'll find you," I grin wildly, almost laughing, as I motion for Mia to go.  
  
"You'll find me?" he yells to us confused, standing up, as we pull back.  
  
"I'll find you!" I yell back at the confused Troy as we pull off. I settle back in my seat, not believing what I just did. Mia shifts into third, we look at each other and burst into laughter.  
  
"Do you know what you just did !?" she asks me with her mouth gaping open. I just nod laughing. She shakes her head and shifts into fourth as we merge onto the freeway.  
  
"Dom is gonna shit a brick," she says her eyes getting wider like she just discovered something amazing. I start to bite my nails in nervousness.  
  
"I know," I nod, with the reality setting in.  
  
"You got balls, chica," she glances at me. I laugh at the thought of me having actual balls and Dom shitting an actual brick.  
  
"I know," I laugh.  
  
"Well, he hasn't been stingy with his surprises lately.......why shouldn't I return the favor?" I grin. We laugh.  
  
"Well I'm all for it, but I just hope somebody's there to pull him off that guy," she remarks dryly. I secretly know that she's telling the truth. Dom doesn't have a high tolerance for people messing with me.  
  
"Well...........I'm not his girl anymore, and if he touches Troy, I'll never speak to him again," I tell her losing the amusement in my voice.  
  
"But, Letty, you gotta expect him to be a little upset.....he still loves you......and....." she starts, not defending him, but stating the obvious.  
  
"Yeah, but I love him too, and I didn't expect him to be fucking another girl when I came home, either," I stop her. she just sits silently, taking my point, knowing what I mean. We just sit in silence for a moment until the image of someone shitting a brick comes back into my mind and I begin laughing.  
  
"Shit a brick?" I laugh. She laughs too. I sigh and settle back into my seat as the wind from the open windows rip through my hair. Yeah, I definitely lived today. 


	15. Blind Rage

Chapter 15  
  
  
  
"Wake up, bro," I hear a voice whisper in conjunction with a hand jabbing at my shoulder. I roll over yawning and catch the blurry image of the glowing green numbers from my alarm clock. It's two a.m., and Vince is standing over me.  
  
"Get ready, we're about to leave," he tells me leaving and closing the door behind him. I sit up, rubbing my eyes, trying to regain my vision. I can hear everyone below me rustling around. I took a shower before I lay down, knowing that I would want to sleep up until the very last minute. I grab a pair of black pants and a white long-sleeved shirt, and slip them on quickly. I'm so tired. I actually slept tonight. Talking to Letty in the shop today helped me sleep for the first time in days. I look at my self in the mirror, and decide to just leave the 5 o'clock shadow. I slip on some shades, spritz myself with a little cologne, and grab my keys. I head down the stairs where everyone is either waiting in the front hallway or standing in the living room. I walk down silently, with my shades on, and I can feel everyone's eyes on me, because I haven't spoke. I pause at the bottom step, only causing more uncertainty in the group. Behind shaded eyes I check out Letty. She's wearing black leather pants that make her ass look stunning, and a black halter. Her hair is down, flowing long, and framing her face. She looks at me biting her lip. She doesn't know that I'm looking at her, because my head is facing another direction, but my eyes are all over her. I turn my head towards the door.  
  
"Let's ride," I tell them taking off my shades. They all begin to filter out the door, as I stand waiting for everyone to get outside. I yawn and stretch as Jesse walks past me. Letty lags behind until it's just her and I left standing beside the door.  
  
"You okay?" she asked, brow furrowed. I tilt my head to the side at her concern, and smile.  
  
"Yeah...........just tired," I tell her softly. She nods and smiles. She sighs then walks out the door. I follow behind her, locking the door, then getting into my car. I ride alone out to the desert, following the team. I had planned on racing tonight, but I don't really feel up to it anymore. We ride for nearly an hour before we get to the deserted, isolated area. Lights and sounds come from the distance as we pull off onto a dirt path leading to the spot. We turn around the bend in the road and are greeted by imports, and a vast variety of people brought together for one reason. I get out of my car and fawning females and admirers instantly surround me. I look around for the team and as soon as I spot them they begin to make their way over to me. They stand around me in a semi-circle waiting for my command.  
  
"What's the line-up for tonight?" Leon asks, letting his eyes follow the backside of a nameless female body.  
  
"Letty's going for Carlito, right?" I look over at her, and she nods.  
  
"Jess, is over on the blue strip............Vince, you're on the black..........and Leon......Leon!?" I yell to snap his attention back to us and not every ass that passes by.  
  
"Yeah?.........I'm listening.." he says innocently as I roll my eyes.  
  
"Leon, you're........Fuck......just hang out and take stats tonight," I tell him giving up on keeping his attention. He nods enthusiastically.  
  
"Okay, be safe, have a good night........I'll see you guys back at the house," I tell them. We usually stay together at the street races, but at events this big we just pick a strip and meet back up at the house. I reach back into my car to get my jacket as I hear a protest coming from the group.  
  
"Wait a second........what about you?.......where are you gonna be?" Vince asked confused.  
  
"Around," I tell him smirking. I catch Letty's eye and she's smiling also.  
  
"Around?...........what the hell?............you're not racing?" Vince asks again.  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Don't feel like it," I tell him dryly. He looks at me, the perfect picture of confusion, mouth gaping open, and eyes squinted. I laugh. I turn to Letty as he shakes his head and walks away. The rest of the team begins to walk off to their awaiting victories as Letty and Mia stay.  
  
"What time you racing?" I ask Letty.  
  
"I don't know yet, I need to go check," she says raising an eyebrow looking off into the distance.  
  
"I'll go with you," I tell her, hoping she doesn't mind that I just invited myself along. She nods and we start walking through the crowd to the boards. She runs a finger down the boards and finds her slot. She then runs a finger horizontally to see if any slots are open. She finds one and etches her name in with the attached pen.  
  
" 3:45 it is," she smiles. I can tell she's nervous about the race, but trying not to appear uneasy. That's Letty. She and Mia start talking as I'm pulled away by Hector.  
  
"Hey, man...what's going on?" he smiles extending a fist. We touch knuckles.  
  
"Nothing much, bro........Letty's going for Carlito," I smirk. He laughs surprised.  
  
"Damn, that girl always goes for what she wants...eh?"  
  
"Yeah, tell me about it......"  
  
"So who you gonna put out of house and home tonight?" he asks smiling from ear to ear. I know he's not gonna like my answer and everyone here is gonna give me shit for not racing tonight.  
  
"Nobody, actually.........I'm just here to watch the team." His mouth drops then he starts laughing. He thinks I'm joking.  
  
"I'm serious, bro........look, Letty's up in a few, so I'm gonna go, you gonna check her out?"  
  
"You know it.......I gotta see Carlito's face when she kicks his ass," he smiles. We begin to walk off to the strip where Letty is sitting in her car. I walk up to her window, and she's sitting silently in her car.  
  
"Hey," I startle her. She jumps slightly.  
  
"Hey," she sighs, looking at me then past me, as if she were expecting someone else.  
  
"I'm up in a second," she says, her eyes darting in a million different directions. I don't know why she's this nervous. I lean closer to the window, and squat beside the car.  
  
"Letty, you got this thing.........it's in the bag, babe.......relax," I try to calm her, whispering. She shakes her head.  
  
"Don't say that, Dom........I could easily lose this.......lose my car," she whispers back, turning to me. Her eyes are full of an uneasiness that's unlike her. I wish I could kiss her, make her nervousness fade for a moment. Instead, I just stare into her eyes. She stares back with a frown and a furrowed brow. We hear them call for her.  
  
"Okay, wish me luck," she sighs. I stand up and lean down to her window. I take a risk and kiss her on the top of the head. She responds with a smile.  
  
"You don't need it," I tell her walking away. She smiles at me again and lines up with the others. She's up against all guys, as usual. No one she can't take, but the only person she has to beat is Carlito, to keep her car. If Carlito loses to another car, she won't have anything to worry about either, besides her ego, but all she has to do is either beat Carlito, or hope to God, someone else does. I walk over to the quarter mile finishing point with the other spectators. I spot Mia on the other side, standing with her arms folded. I look back at the starting point, saying a silent prayer for Letty. They line up, arms drop, and it's on. Letty gets off the line before anyone else, but Carlito, and some Civic are close behind her. They all speed towards us, and my heart rate increases as I see Carlito beginning to pull ahead of her. As they get closer she faintly gets even with him. I hold my breath as she shoots past him and over the line. Holy fucking shit! She won. She played with him. She let him think he was gonna get her then she fucking nailed him. I walk over to Mia and we start towards Letty's stopped car. Letty jumps out with the biggest 'shit eating' grin on her face, yelling.  
  
"Get out of my car!" she smiles at Carlito. He gets out smiling. He walks over and hugs her.  
  
"You got me, girl," he laughs at her. He pulls the keys out of his pocket and hands them to her.  
  
"Good job, chica," he smiles at her again. She takes the keys and hugs him. She looks so marvelous when she's that happy. She smiles and turns to Mia. She hugs her tightly, even picking her up briefly. I want in on the action too, so I begin to walk over to her. I stop dead in my tracks as some unknown figure comes up behind Letty, and places his hands on her hips. She turns in response to his touch and they hug. She pulls back from him and smiles big. They begin talking like they know each other. Who the hell is he? Mia hugs him too. She's met someone else already. That's why she was okay with us just being friends now. She's already over me. I sigh and walk away, hurt beyond words. My mood quickly turns to anger as I hear some asshole noticing my crippled pride.  
  
"Ohhh, Dom............Ain't that your girl over there?" he smirks with a crowd forming around us. Just keep walking Dominic. He's only trying to get a rise out of you.  
  
"Who's that guy macking on her..........his hands all over her?"  
  
"Fuck off," I tell him dryly, trying to push past him and his punk friends. People are always looking for ways to mess with me. I guess it's cause they think I'm so untouchable, or cause they see me as thinking I'm too good for everyone. They always want to get a piece of the "Race King". I walk past them with only one destination in mind, home.  
  
"Looks like he can't keep his dick in his pants either.........Poor Letty," he spits smugly. I stop with my back to them, as I can hear them laughing. Every pint of blood in my body begins to rise and my ears and face become flushed, showing my anger. Every inch of my skin begins to tingle and my mind goes blank. All I know is that when I stood up, there was blood everywhere, and people screaming. I look down and the..........the "punk" is cover in the red liquid and gurgling the word 'help'. I back away and I can feel Vince come up behind me.  
  
"Let's get out of here," he whispers nervously, staring at the bloody mess before us. I turn to walk away and I can hear, the guy's girlfriend, I guess, letting out a blood-curdling scream at seeing him first. I cringe as Vince walks me back to my car. The entire team, except Letty and Mia, soon surround us as we reach our cars.  
  
"Holy shit!......What the hell happen!?" Jess exclaims looking at my shirt. I look down and I can't even tell that my shirt was once white.  
  
"Where's Mia and Let?......we're getting outta here," Vince asks looking around.  
  
"Shit, Dom........Is some of that yours!?" Leon asks wincing, referring to the blood blanketing almost every inch of me. I shake my head feeling nauseous.  
  
"I don't know," I whisper, feeling the bile rising, burning my throat. I turn away, behind my car as my stomach convulses violently. I can hear Vince yelling for Mia and Letty to hurry up.  
  
"What's wrong?..........what?....." I can hear my baby sister asking oblivious to my sins.  
  
"Where is he?..........Where........is he okay?" she asks again her voice shaking, thinking the worst. I can hear her walking over to where I am.  
  
"Dom?.........Dom are you okay?" she starts. I can't let her see me like this again.  
  
"Mia, don't..............get in the car with Letty and go home," I tell with my back to her.  
  
"Dom, what's going on?" she asks beginning to cry.  
  
"Mia, just get in the car with Letty, and let her take you home......please," I tell her calmly wiping my mouth with a clean bit of forearm. I can hear her hesitate for a moment and then turn and walk away. Vince comes up.  
  
"Is she in the car?" I ask Vince.  
  
"Yeah," he tells me. I get up disgusted with myself wanting to crawl into a hole and never come out. What the hell came over me? I thought I had better control over my temper now. I look up and I'm met by Letty's hurt eyes and slightly open mouth.  
  
"Are you okay?" she asks softly cringing. I can't even look at her right now, it hurts so much. I look down and nod.  
  
"Take Mia home, for me."  
  
"Okay," she answers softly reaching a hand out to touch my blood-splattered face. I pull away and get in my car. I crank it and pull off watching Letty, watching me, in the rearview mirror. 


	16. End of the Hall

Chapter 16  
  
  
  
I cough and cover my stinging eyes as the dust left from Dom's car dissipates in the night air. Stunned and clueless to the situation, I walk to my car, where Mia stands equally confused. I walk over to Vince, who is sitting in his car with his legs over the side of the driver's entrance, the door open, and beeping sounds alarming him. He holds a cell phone to his ear and his head is lowered, looking towards the ground.  
  
"What's going on?" I ask him quietly, looking back at Mia, who was standing with her arms folded against my car. He looks up at me and sighs. He hangs up the phone, tossing it into the back of the car, and stands, closing his door.  
  
"Dom got into it with some kid."  
  
"Looks to me, like he damn near killed him......'got into it' my ass," I whisper. I know Vince won't just come out and tell me what I want to know. What on earth could have caused Dom to go ape-shit like that? I've never seen him do something like that, unprovoked. My question is what triggered him.  
  
"What's really going on?.....no, bullshit, V......just tell me," I get closer, begging him to just tell me the truth, and not lie to protect me. Although, I don't know exactly what the deal is, I have a haunting suspicion that I'm involved in some way, shape, or form. He sighs hard again and leans in 'til his mouth is neighboring my ear. He whispers the truth to me, causing my heart to fall. I shut my eyes, then open them, only looking down.  
  
"Take Mia home, Let.......Don't tell her.........let him tell her. I'll see you guys there.......hopefully there won't be a big turnout tonight at the house," he tells me shaking his head, and getting into his car. I nod, and turn on my heel. I walk back over to my car. Mia and I get in. I crank the car and pull onto the road.  
  
"So?............what's going on?..........what happen to Dom?" Mia asks suddenly and frantically. I shake my head, hoping that's enough, but knowing that it won't be.  
  
"Letty?......come on, tell me," she turns all the way around to face me as I take a sharp curve to the right. I look straight ahead.  
  
"Mia.........I can't.............It's not my place," I tell her softly. I feel horrible. She has every right to know, just not at my hands. I can feel her turn away. We sit silent for at least a half a mile before she whispers to me, still looking away.  
  
"Just tell me that he's okay."  
  
"He's okay," I whisper back. We're silent for the remainder of the ride home. We pull up in front of the Toretto house. The streets are lined with imports for over a block down. I guess no one gives a shit about what happen, as long as they can party. We get out of the car quietly and walk into the packed house, instantly hit with the thump of the stereo and the stench of alcohol. Mia goes straight up the stairs and to her room. I hope he talks to her tomorrow. She'll kill herself worrying about him, if he doesn't. I sigh and look around for the guys. I spot Carlito and walk over to him. He asks why I left so suddenly and when I'm gonna take delivery on the ride. I ask him to bring it to the shop Monday, and he nods, as I begin my eye scan for the team again. I walk into the kitchen, still not seeing them until I can catch a whiff of Leon's Adidas' cologne over the smell of beer and skanks. I follow my nose and find the guys sitting quietly on the back lawn in chairs around an open cooler of beer with their backs to the house. I begin to walk out to them, but stop myself when I hear them begin talking.  
  
"So, is he okay?" Jess asks sipping his beer.  
  
"Yeah, he's alright................it's just all this shit with Letty, and stuff, I guess something just finally snapped," Vince tells him, shaking his head.  
  
"Well, what did he expect?..........he won't talk to anyone about it........I know it's killing him, hell, you know how much he loves Letty," Leon cuts in. They all nod slowly, not once looking at each other.  
  
"....kept all that shit inside...........I knew it was gonna come out soon, I just hoped not like this.........he saw that kid with her and then that punk......." Vince trails off. So, that's what sent him into flip mode.....me. Troy. I didn't even know he was around us, when Troy came up. Christ, we only hugged. I walk up behind them, almost ready to burst into tears.  
  
"So, I'M the real reason that kid is laying in the ER right now?" I startle them all, my voice shaking. They all jump up out of their seats and face me with looks of absolute horror, shaking their heads.  
  
"Let, it's not....." Vince starts, reaching out for my arm. I jerk away from him.  
  
"No!..........I'm so fucking tired of everyone blaming Dom's actions on me!........he's always tired...it's my fault.....he looks like shit.....it's my fault.....he nearly killed a guy........it's my fault!" I yell at them, not realizing the tears welling up in my eyes.  
  
"He fucks other girls behind my back......it's my fault.......he swear that he loves me then he goes and hurts me the best way he knows how.......it's my fault........I'm tired of every fucking thing being my fault!!" I yell at them crying. They all just stand silent, wishing they knew what to say. I know they didn't think it was my fault, but I don't know what came over me. Everything was just building up and I wanted to scream when I heard the reason why Dom had done that tonight, so I screamed at the closest thing at the time............my friends. I start to feel ashamed for being such a bitch to them for no reason, causing me to cry harder.  
  
"Let....." Leon walks closer to me, but I step back.  
  
"No....no......I'm sorry.........I didn't mean that," I begin to sob, as they all try to walk closer to me. I begin to feel embarrassed and a knot forms in my stomach.  
  
"No.....no...no.....I'm sorry......I have to go," I sob through tear clouded eyes, beginning to run into the house, as they yell for me to come back. I push and shove through drunken bastards trying desperately to reach the front door before anyone can notice my state of dismay. I reach the door an put my hand on the knob, but something stops me from opening the door. I turn and look up the stairs. I release the knob and turn to the stairs. Looking up and wiping my face, I start to climb them slowly, until the thump of the music is muffled below my feet. I walk down the hall to a cracked door with two 'L' shaped lines of light searing into my already burning eyes. The Toretto's room. The light is dim, but brilliant in the dark hall. I slowly walk to the door again, not knowing, and almost not wanting to know what lays behind it this time. I place a hand on the wooden entrance letting my fingers trace the carved designs out of procrastination. I push the door slightly and walk in. 


	17. Peroxide

Chapter 17  
  
"Dom?" I hear a voice creep into the room. I turn to face Letty as she walks in quietly, her face glistening. I stand and walk over to her.  
  
"What happened, are you okay?" I ask surveying her body for any damage. If she's crying, someone had to hurt her pretty bad.  
  
"I should ask the same questions," she says softly taking my still bleeding hands in hers and wincing. I pull them away, embarrassed, and lower my head.  
  
"It was an accident, Let, I swear...I never meant to..." I start shaking my head in disbelief.  
  
"Just wait here," she tells me before leaving then returning moments later with bandages, towels, and a brown bottle.  
  
"Let, you don't have to..." I begin, but she totally ignores me and kneels down in front of me as I sit on the bed. She begins cleaning my hands and wrapping them snuggly, but not tightly. She's done it a million times. Whether it is from me punching a wall out of anger, or loosing my grip on the hedge clippers, she's always there with gauze and peroxide, listening to me vent, while she fixes my wounds. I don't vent this time. I just sit and let her rinse my cuts, wincing slightly.  
  
"I don't want to know what happen...just tell me it wasn't my fault", she looks up at me, beginning to cry.  
  
"Letty.....why would you think..." I begin, but she begins shaking her head.  
  
"Just tell me, Dom," she sobs slightly. I place my hands on hers and we stand. I hug her tightly.  
  
"It wasn't your fault," I whisper into her neck. I can feel her nod into my shoulder and hold me tighter. I pull back from her and sweep away falling tears with my thumbs, looking deep into her hurt eyes. They've always looked hurt and painful, but now, more than ever. Without thinking, I lean down and place my lips on hers. I pull back a few inches expecting to catch a hand across my face, but she looks at me, and grabs my head, causing our lips to slam gently into each other. I suddenly feel her soft tongue dart slowly into my mouth. Her lips are salty from crying, but her mouth is still sweet. Our tongues dance slowly together, alternating from my mouth to her mouth, and the spaces in between. My hands that were at my sides, unconsciously move to her hips, as her hands slide from my face to my neck. We stand there kissing slowly, moaning quietly in the dim room. Letty pulls her lips from mine and looks up at me. I know she's gonna tell me this was a mistake. I knew that, before it even started. She closes her eyes, and lets her head rest on my chest for a moment. She grabs my hands. She looks at my bruised, crimson hands, now wrapped in bandages, then lets her eyes move up my arms until she reaches my eyes.  
  
"Just for tonight, we forget all our bullshit...and we lay here...and we sleep...okay?" she asks softly, with a tired look on her face, the same look that must be on mine. I nod, and she leads us over to my parents' bed. She lets go of my hand long enough to slip off her pants and top, leaving only panties and a strapless black bra. I take off my bloody shirt and pants leaving me in only a pair of white boxer-briefs. She grabs my hand again and pulls back the covers. I reach over and turn off the lamp on the nightstand. She crawls into the blue tinted sheets with me close behind. In the darkness, light from the askew drapes highlights her curves. Like a mountain range, they peak and dip perfectly. I keep my distance from her not wanting to push her into anything. She lays with her back to me as I watch her breath. Suddenly, she turns over and nestles into the curvature of my body. I lift my arms to let her get closer, laying them back down around her. Her face lays contently in the crook of my neck, just like always. Her warm breath sporadically rolling onto my chest, I lay content also, forgetting the shit that brought us to this point. Letty is lying in my arms again. That's all I can think about. That's all I want to think about. Thinking about how amazing it feels to have her pressed against me, I drift off to sleep, probably with a smile on my face. I almost hope we never wake up.......never wake up.  
  
"Wake up!!!............Dammit, Dom!!!......Get your ASS UP!!", I can hear Letty yelling only inches form my face. What the hell? 


	18. Atlas

Chapter 18  
  
"Dom!.........Get your sorry ass out of bed!...............I fucking swear it's like pulling teeth.....", I can hear Letty's yells turn into mummbles and groans. I slowly open my sleep clouded eyes to see Letty walking around the room picking up clothes off the floor and tossing them into a basket at her hip. I'm in my bed. How the hell did I get in my bed?...And why is Letty...  
  
"Dom!?", she stops and yells looking directly at me. She throws one more shirt laying over the back of a chair into the basket and exits the room yelling.  
  
"Get your ass up, now!" I lay still in my bed, trying to wake up. I must still be sleep. That's the only explanation. Okay, Dom, turn over, and Letty will be there under your arm. I close my eyes and turn over to nothing. My eyes pop open, and I can hear Letty downstairs yelling obscenities. What the fuck is going on? I sit up in bed and look around at my room. It's not the same way it was yesterday. There are clothes everywhere.  
  
"I cleaned my room the other day........nobody's been in here...." I get up in hopes to make some since of everything. I look down and I'm naked. What the hell? I look in an open drawer and grab a pair of boxers to slip on. As I continue to look around, a dangling shiny piece of metal catches my eye from the open closet. Letty's keys? Ok, now, I know, I'm loosing my mind. I quickly run downstairs to keep from wigging out. Everyone is sitting around the living room, plates in hand, watching cartoons. I stand in the doorway listening to them all laugh about something. Letty appears in the kitchen doorway seeing me instantly.  
  
"Good...........you're up", she half smiles. Everyone turns momentarily to aknowledge my presence.  
  
"Man, I know this is your house and everything, but, some clothes would be nice", Vince comments from the couch, then turning back to eating.  
  
"What's going on?", I demand. Everyone just ignores me. Whatever little prank their pulling, I'm tired of it. This is too weird.  
  
"What the fuck is going on!?", I yell loudly causing Jesse to jump and drop his bowl of cereal. Now, I have their attention. They all turn to look at me with the most confused, bewildered looks on their faces.  
  
"Ummm, we saved you some breakfast man......it's in the kitchen......geese", Leon offers, then turning back to stuff his face. Ok, now, I'm pissed. I can take a joke, but this is freaking me out. Everyone is just carrying on like last night never happened. Last night...... I slowly raise my hands to eye level and a stinging chill runs down my spine. My hands aren't taped. Their not even bruised. My entire body goes frigid and my chest begins to tighten. I gasp for a breath of air and close my eyes. I stumble back and catch myself on the hall table.  
  
"Yo, brotha, you okay?", Vince gets up. His voice sound miles away, and although I can see him walking towards me, it's like he's not moving. Suddenly I can feel his arms under mine holding me up. I hear his muffled voice yelling for Letty as I just stand there trying to comprehend...something, trying to make sense of...anything.  
  
"Dom!?.....Dom!?!...Dominic!?!?!", I feel a stinging slap land on my cheek as Letty's voice and image comes into focus in front of me. I shake my head to clear my mind.  
  
"Goddamit Dom...you scared the shit outta me...what the hell is wrong with you?" she searches my eyes ferverently. If anyone will tell me what the hell is going on, I know she will. She saw how I was last night. She wouldn't play a joke like this on me.  
  
"Letty, I need to talk to you.....now.....upstairs", I tell her grabbing her wrists, pleading for her to say yes, with my eyes. She nods like she knows how much I need her right now. I let go of her and she begins up the stairs with me close behind.  
  
"You ever seen him turn that color?", Leon asks Vince walking back into the living room.  
  
"I've never seen anyone, still living, turn that color...he looked like a ghost man...freaky..", I hear Vince answer him, his voice fading from distance. We reach my room and walk in closing the door behind us. I sit on the bed as she stands in front of me.  
  
"Dom, now you're really starting to scare me, what's going on?", she ask, the same question running through my own head. Ok, I just need to be straight with her and clear this shit up.  
  
"Ok, Letty, I don't know what's going on here, and I just need you to tell me this is not some fucking joke you guys are pulling", I tell her slowly.  
  
"Joke?.......what are you talking about Dom?......I....I... don't", she starts, confused. I stand and grab her shoulders.  
  
"Letty, please, just tell me you guys are pretending to forget about last night to protect me", I tell her pleading for this to all end. She looks at me as if I sprouted a third eye and shakes her head.  
  
"Last night?.......We.......we watched movies last night Dom, why would we lie......about watching movies?", she continues to shake her head, as we both try to make sense of things. Oh, man. I start to feel dizzy again. Had it all been a dream? I sit back on the bed, regaining that pale complexion, mouth gaping open.  
  
"Dom!?..........Dom!?.............are you okay?...............Vince!!?", I hear Letty yell, trying to prevent another of whatever happened downstairs.  
  
"Letty..........Letty, I'm okay", I tell her standing briefly then sitting again. She nods and comes to sit beside me. She takes my hand and squeezes it tightly. I look at the wooden floor, still in disbelief. It was. It was all a dream. Everything, from Letty leaving, to the fight, was all in my mind. It was so real. I could smell her. I touched her. I knew every thought she was thinking, every action she made.  
  
"It was so real...", I mumble shaking my head, and letting my eyes close. I can see her walking down the beach, the wind softly blowing her hair. It was so fucking real. I cried, and when she left, I felt my heart break. How could it not be real? How?  
  
"Lay down sweetie", her sweet voice brigs me back into the world. I open my eyes and lay back on my bed.  
  
"What's going on?", she ask me sitting at my feet. I take a deep breath and tell her about my dream, from the second she walked into the room to the second we laid down last night. She listens intently, never interuppting.  
  
"You dreamed all this", she says finally.  
  
"Yeah, it was so real, Letty, I swear to God.........it felt so real", I nod. She stands up.  
  
"Why would you dream that you cheated on me?", she asks shrugging. Well, that's a good question. Why DID I dream that I cheated on her?  
  
"I don't know.............I guess.....because......I'm always so scared of losing you...........and in my subconscious mind, I knew that would be the one thing to end us........", I spit out the words as they come to me, thinking out loud. It's the truth, but she looks at me as if, it's another excuse.  
  
"It felt so real............when you left, a peice of me died, Let...........I swear to God, it was like that feeling you get in your stomach right before you go into the principal's office, or right after you break your mom's most expensive vase...............my heart broke, Letty...........it broke........then I saw you with someone else, and my rage flew off the charts............I experienced all these extremes in a matter of only hours........in a dream", I tell her, now standing in front of her. I just continue to shake my head, as I look into her eyes.  
  
"I don't know what to say", she looks back up at me. Her lips, it feels like years since I've touched them.  
  
"Do you love me?", I ask her, needing to know, finally, that is WAS all a dream. I need to know, I need to hear it, to make it real.  
  
"What?", she asks, scrunching her face.  
  
"Tell me that you love me"  
  
"Dom, you know that I love you", she turns away annoyed.  
  
"But I need you to say it, I need to hear it Letty", I pull her back to me. Again, she looks at me like an alien, and shakes her head.  
  
"I love you.........geese", she tells me with an unreadable look on her face. That's all I wanted. I lean down and let my lips linger on hers.  
  
"I love you too", I whisper into her mouth. Our lips join and our tongues immediately find each other. Like mates lost at sea the hug and embrace. It was all a dream. She's here, I'm here. Like the world being lifted from Atlas, or like the man getting a death row pardon, I sigh in relief. I can't believe it was all a dream, but I'm glad that it was. She pulls away and looks at me.  
  
"Are you okay?", she asks me. I look at her, and for the first time in a long time, I'm not confused.  
  
"Yeah.....I am now"  
  
  
  
Ok i know i may have pissed some of you off, but i couldn't resist putting the twist in there. Don't fret, there will be a second ending which will start off with the end of chapter 17. I just had this sick idea to make it all a dream, and I had to do it. I love you guys so much............don't shoot me!!! 


End file.
